Monday, October 23, 2006

Self defense Starts with self awareness

LongmontFYI Business News: "Ninety percent of self-defense is risk awareness, risk reduction,” says Monica Hall, founder of Active 1 Self Defense.

Hall should know. She’s been a martial arts instructor for more than a decade and is obtaining her second-degree black belt."

Hall said the workshop teaches the ABCs of self-defense: awareness, boundaries and combat — if necessary. “The majority of the scenarios that take place can be avoided by just your voice and your body posture,” she said.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

North Lake Tahoe-what DV really is.

Well, thank God, more and more communities are beginning to understand that abuse is about maintianing conrol and power over another!

North Lake Tahoe Bonanza - Opinion: "People think of domestic violence as a husband battering a wife, but verbal, emotional and financial abuse can be more painful than physical abuse itself. Domestic violence includes emotional and economic abuse, coercion, threats and isolation. It is a pattern of coercive and assaultive behavior used to establish power and control over another person. Domestic violence is about maintaining control. "

Friday, October 13, 2006

Bully Buster Seminar

Verbal abusers are big bullies. And yes, we can learn the skills to deal with them. This article suggest conflict resolution skills and peace education which is a crock! bullies and abusers don't respond to "nice"--they abuse it, they turn it around on you and make you feel guilty--the only way to stop them is to not allow the bad behavior AT ALL! the article is interesting though--read on...

Free Community Bully Buster Seminar: "“While it’s the violent bullying that makes the headlines, the vast majority of bullying comes in the form of verbal bullying,” claims Robinson. “Verbal bullying doesn’t hurt physically, but it can have deeper consequences such as low self-esteem and poor self-image.”

Robinson believes that learning how to deal with a bully is a skill just like reading or writing. "

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Retalitory Abuse

Although most targets are women in verbal abuse--there is a percentage of men--in physical abuse it's less than 5% but for verbal, there are a lot ow women who really attack their guys... Abuse is Abuse is Abuse--if its retalitory for what they said to you--its still not justified!

Domestic abuse victims find a helping hand in Dickson County - Wednesday, 10/11/06: "“We know statistically that about 95 percent of domestic violence victims are women. Some of those numbers reflect homosexual relationships, lesbian relationships. The five percent of domestic violence victims that are men, a large number of those reflect male partner violence. In the small remaining amount, there are some men that are truly victims and some of it is retaliatory, women who are at a point where they have nothing to lose.”"

Story sags in 'The Departed'

Unfortuantely, a lot of people only know how to communicate through verbal abuse--they think it's normal!

SCREEN SCENE: Stars sizzle but story sags in 'The Departed': "Mark Wahlberg plays a foul-mouthed sergeant who seems to feel that verbal abuse is the only form of communication.

If "The Departed" is intended to depict a real American subculture, then it's depressing that there still exists such brutality, racism, homophobia and organized crime in a middle-class milieu. Taken as a work of fiction, it's a fascinating character study that might have been even more gripping set in an area with no cell coverage.

Monday, October 9, 2006

Groups for verbal abuse

Chambersburg Public Opinion - Our view: Abuse victims can get help: "WIN has tried to assure victims that help is available, and with that in mind, is offering a new support group for victims of verbal abuse.

Abuse doesn't have to be physical. An abuser can tear down the self-esteem of his partner by being overly critical and easy to anger.

WIN, in a news release about the support group, asks these questions:

--Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week?

--Do your attempts to discuss feelings or pain or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not been resolved?

--Does your partner deny being angry, even when he clearly is?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you may benefit by participating in the support group that begins in mid-September."

Be a Man

What does it mean to "be a Man?"

CrimeSucks: "'You go out to a high school and ask, 'What's a real man?'' he says. 'They're going to talk about strength and respect, they're going to talk about power -- all those things that have a connection to a degree of violence.'

Faulkner rhymes off a slew of statistics: In Ontario, 94 per cent of all domestic homicides have female victims and male perpetrators; in the U.S. (and Faulkner says Canadian numbers are comparable) 85 per cent of individuals who commit homicides are males; 90 per cent of individuals who commit assaults are males; 95 per cent of individuals who commit serious domestic violence are males; 95 per cent of individuals committing crimes connected to road rage are males.

'We, as a gender, are very violent,' says Faulkner. 'And are becoming more and more violent.' "

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Offensive language--new word

As long as we are learning a new way to relate to people, we may as well lern new words too! How about this one: nestbeschmutzing (fouling one’s own nest)
Isn't that what the abuser does?

There's Offensive And There's Offensive - "The book’s deliberately tasteless provocations, what Glickman agonizes over as symptoms of nestbeschmutzing (fouling one’s own nest), aren’t limited to verbal abuse. There’s also the insistence on the quasi-pornographic appeal of atrocity literature: For the adolescent Glickman, the illustrated Scourge of the Swastika (referred to in at least one earlier Jacobson novel), later the notorious soft porn film, Ilse, She-Wolf of the SS, a video of which turns up in the collection of Max’s sometime nemesis, Errol Tobias."

Saturday, October 7, 2006

Domestic Abuse Program Gives Victims Hope

MORE good news! - Domestic Abuse Program Gives Victims Hope: "Victims of domestic abuse in Maryland are getting some help from the state as the 'Maryland Safe At Home Address Confidentiality Program', is now in operation.

The program took effect Monday, and as Maryland's Secretary of State Mary Kane tells WJZ's Richard Sher, 'It provides a substitute address for victims who moved or are about to move to a new location unknown to their abuser.'

Kane also says, 'The program also provides a free confidential mail-forwarding service.'"

Friday, October 6, 2006

a book to keep the marriage intact

we want to save marriages, but not at the expense of one partner. It ony works to save the marriage if the abused spouse learns to STOP being abused. "Sometimes, though, the conventional wisdom misses the mark. Drawing on interviews with 100 prominent divorce attorneys nationwide, author and former practicing attorney Wendy Jaffe has written an interesting and illuminating work called, 'The Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married.' Apparently, those with ringside seats in divorce court, a place where couples venture to shred their wedding vows and one another, have a special insight into how not to behave in marriage.

In her book, Jaffe outlines how to diagnose and treat myriad union-killers, ranging from no-sex marriages to infidelity to unrealistic expectations. Beyond that, she argues that many couples who end up in divorce court could have, and should have, worked harder to save their unions. "

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Abusers offered help to break cycle of violence

We're getting more hope everyday! Lots of abusers, both men and women really do want to change and Taylor is one of them. Read about it here.

JS Online:Abusers offered help to break cycle of violence: "'It was scary,' Taylor said. 'I grew up in a house where there was emotional and verbal abuse daily. I took it a step further. I put my hands on the women in my life.'

Taylor wanted to end the intergenerational cycle of violence, and he had one incentive: 'I didn't want my daughter to marry a man like her father.'

Statistics show that 5 out of 10 boys who witness abuse go on to be abusers, and 6 out of 10 girls who witness abuse get into relationships with abusers."