Saturday, June 24, 2006

Difficult Relationships » Blog Archive » Partner abuse

Great blog!!!! after you read it, go down and read what a commentor "Crusader: has to say--it'll make you laugh! He is everything we don't want in a man! and he thinks he's being cool. WOW--what do you think

Difficult Relationships » Blog Archive » Partner abuse: "If any one of the following is true I’d suggest you get immediate outside help:

1. When you talk about your feelings your partner railroads the discussion and gives you no time to think or express yourself.

2. You can’t discuss what is bothering you for fear of things getting out of hand.

3. Your partner criticizes, humiliates and undermines you.

4. He or she ridicules you when you express yourself and ridicules your family and friends.

5. He or she keeps you “in line” by withholding money, the car, the phone.

6. He or she has stolen from you and run up debts for you to handle.

7. He or she has thrown away or destroyed things that belonged to you, opens and reads your mail, checks your phone bill and reads your emails.

8. You are often afraid of the person you are supposed to be closest to."

The Morning News :: News Page

The Morning News :: News Page: "Springdale is considered one of the toughest cities in Northwest Arkansas on domestic abuse cases, according to Jeff Harper, Springdale City Attorney. Because, Harper said, prosecutors in Springdale will rarely drop the case, even if the victim refuses to testify against the abuser."

It'a about time!!!!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Family Court Judge arrested for domestic abuse

NO ONE IS IMMUNE! His girl friend that he popped also worked in the family courts!

Family Court Judge arrested for domestic abuse: "He makes a living off of hearing cases involving spousal abuse. Now a family court judge is finding himself on the other side of the law. Judge Steven Jones was arrested Tuesday night for domestic violence."

Monday, June 19, 2006

"Reach out for help and break free"

Here, medica personnel reach out to others--At Kaiser

"Look at yourself in the mirror," she suggested. "Is this what you want to do with your life?"

Behind her, the display listed the names and photographs of three Kaiser employees who paid for their poor choices with their lives.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hair Dressers can help the abused

Thi sis an example of the commnity pulling together and educating men and women who really need help!

Controlling behavior can sometimes be spotted by a stylist, Krasniak said.

"You might start offering a change (of hairstyle) and she says, 'No he would not like that,' or 'He would kill me if I cut my hair,'" she said. "You start to think there might be some control issues."

Over the years Krasniak has suspected that some of her clients were victims of abuse. Some of them opened up and described their partner's behavior.

"I would just listen to what they told me," she said. "I told them there were programs out there and just advised them to seek help."

The new program trains stylists to steer people who may be abused toward one of the state's nine domestic violence projects, Blanchard said.

YOu can read aboout this novel program here.

Monday, June 12, 2006

TheRealityCheck.Org Writing & Public Relations

I read this bit on violence and wondered where they got the idea that women were TWICE as likely to be severly violent than men?

TheRealityCheck.Org Writing & Public Relations: "Psychologist Renee McDonald interviewed married and co-habiting couples, and reported that women were twice as likely to engage in severe partner violence: Family violence researcher Murray Straus recently presented findings from over 13,000 university students in dating relationships. He found that female-only violence was twice as common as male-only violence:"
I decided to look up the "research" they cited and this is what it really said:
Specifically, women were more likely than men to throw something, push, grab, shove, slap, kick, bite, hit or threaten a partner with a knife or gun.
However, men were more likely than women to commit "severe" acts of violence, such as beating, choking, burning, forcing sex or actually using a knife or gun on their partners.
I think Reality Check" needs a reality check on itself! It's reporting things in such a slanted way as to make "open" discussion laughable.

I wonder sometimes about the verbal abusers. Women do abuse the guys! Of course men's abuse carries more power and is scarey as such, but emotionally it doesn't matter who is the perpetrator or who is the target--verbal abuse HURTS.

Take responsiblity and inforce the respect-me rules.

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Database for Marriage and Divorces needed

In the U.S. there is NO database for marriage and divorces.
People can go out of the state or just to the next county, apply and records are most often NOT checked.

Bigamy, fraud, etc is committed all the time in the U.S. this way. Married people sign onto to online dating sites as single - and no one is the wiser.

To end this - the following petition has been started:


Save more men and women from being defrauded, used and hurt!

Physical and Verbal Abuse

Physical and Verbal Abuse: "Abusers typically act out of an unchecked need for control, and the people they abuse become imprisoned by manipulation and domination — sometimes even believing they deserve this cruel behavior. Fortunately, there is a way out of abusive patterns both for those addicted to control and those victimized by abuse."

A well organized site that agrees that divorce is not always the solution. One of the best resources I've seen.

Friday, June 2, 2006

Question: What is Mental Cruelty?

Illinois Divorce Info - What is Mental Cruelty?

Here you can read and compare how far we have come with education even the courts on mental cruelty (AKA: vebal abuse, emotional abuse, domestic abuse). It used to be HARD to get anyone to listen:
By way of example, and jokingly. I have often stated that, in the old days, you almost had to prove that he or she threw a rat in the other's soup on a regular basis in order to inflict emotional pain. Today, it might be enough to show that the the wrongdoer becomes argumentative and unreasonably loud and insulting on a regular basis, if the soup is served a little late.
Check it out! Makes ya feel good.

Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths

Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths: "Richard (Rick) Kudlik" Our friend "Fighter" has introduced the predator of the month. There's a lot of things his first and last name rhyme with, but I won't be so crude as to make puns with Dick's--ah Rick's names! "Kudlik" is a special one--gets us ladies online and is a oooo "US Marshall" and even carries a gun to impress us. Although at target we are about the abuse in a domestic situation, we don't forget the abusers who are seeking us out so blatantly--it can be pretty devastations just online--and god help us if we met and fall in love with one of them (e-harmony aside).

While I was reviewing Fighter's blog again (I love her spirit) I saw a great article that I want you all to read. Go to her page, scroll past the Charlie Sheen story to the May 31 blog. You'll read something on amends--

For a person who, during his addiction (predatory internet encounters), continually lied, making amends would not mean saying, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you." It would include admitting to his spouse what he has done, recounting a specific incident, and then saying, "I know this caused you great pain and frustration. What do you need from me to make up for this?" If her request is within his realistic limits, he would act to make restitution to her. By making amends, he owns precisely what he did and commits himself to a change in his behavior.

Of course we all want that kind of amends from our abuser but.... will not see that day in most cases! However, if we understand the principle and apply it to ourselves, we begin to retrain our own thinking and take responsibility for who we are. Remember, only when we take total responsibility for our choices can we begin to change. When we allow them to treat us like crap--that's our fault! I made amends to my first husband for allowing him to abuse me! He could only be a doggeral because I let him! YES--we have to reach that stage before we can get really healthy. Anyway--go to Fighter's blog--she is the best!