Friday, June 2, 2006

Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths

Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths: "Richard (Rick) Kudlik" Our friend "Fighter" has introduced the predator of the month. There's a lot of things his first and last name rhyme with, but I won't be so crude as to make puns with Dick's--ah Rick's names! "Kudlik" is a special one--gets us ladies online and is a oooo "US Marshall" and even carries a gun to impress us. Although at target we are about the abuse in a domestic situation, we don't forget the abusers who are seeking us out so blatantly--it can be pretty devastations just online--and god help us if we met and fall in love with one of them (e-harmony aside).

While I was reviewing Fighter's blog again (I love her spirit) I saw a great article that I want you all to read. Go to her page, scroll past the Charlie Sheen story to the May 31 blog. You'll read something on amends--

For a person who, during his addiction (predatory internet encounters), continually lied, making amends would not mean saying, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you." It would include admitting to his spouse what he has done, recounting a specific incident, and then saying, "I know this caused you great pain and frustration. What do you need from me to make up for this?" If her request is within his realistic limits, he would act to make restitution to her. By making amends, he owns precisely what he did and commits himself to a change in his behavior.

Of course we all want that kind of amends from our abuser but.... will not see that day in most cases! However, if we understand the principle and apply it to ourselves, we begin to retrain our own thinking and take responsibility for who we are. Remember, only when we take total responsibility for our choices can we begin to change. When we allow them to treat us like crap--that's our fault! I made amends to my first husband for allowing him to abuse me! He could only be a doggeral because I let him! YES--we have to reach that stage before we can get really healthy. Anyway--go to Fighter's blog--she is the best!

1 comment:

Please be respectful in how you use language.