Sunday, June 25, 2017

Is Verbal Abuse Grounds For Divorce

Here is a woman being verbally abused with one I had not heard of before! The husband puts her down and calls her names all the time (well, of course, we've heard of that) but he also stores her cell number in his phone under the name "bitch." What would you do to set a boundary with this one?

Hmm, not answer the phone if it is under "bitch?"

Change my number? Not give it to him unless he uses my real name?

Get a shirt with the name "bitch" done in rhinestones and be proud of it?

Evewoman: Is Verbal Abuse Grounds For Divorce - The Standard:

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Monday, May 29, 2017

Woman told 'I hope you get raped' in shocking verbal abuse

I hear that Europe is getting worse for women being openly abused on the the streets in public and few are stepping up to defend them. One Mayor's answer (in Sweden) was for women to dress more moderately.  As long as we allow the verbal abuse with no repercussions--it can and will escalate to physical abuse. Demand respect right from the beginning and don't kow tow to the bullying and you help head it off at the pass. However, in today's politically correct world, we have few that are willing to be seen as "racist" --so if the abuser happens to be a minority race--guess what--you ladies are on your own!
Woman told 'I hope you get raped' in shocking verbal abuse at west London Underground station - Get West London: "Victoria Kember was travelling alone when she was subjected to a torrent of vitriolic abuse after confronting a group of men who catcalled her"

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Friday, April 28, 2017

Verbal abuse during pregnancy increases risk of postpartum depression: survey

Verbal abuse during pregnancy increases risk of postpartum depression: survey - The Mainichi: "The study indicates that postnatal depression occurs at a considerably high rate among pregnant victims of domestic violence. Postpartum depression is often seen over a period of several months from childbirth, with physical symptoms including insomnia and lack of appetite. It is said to affect one in 10 mothers. Because serious cases can lead to suicide or child abuse, a system began this month in Japan to have the central government and local bodies subsidize the cost of medical checks for mothers two weeks and one month after childbirth"

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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Mobbed, but Thriving | Stop Bullying Coalition

We generally experience bullying from our spouses in interpersonal relationships--but here's a new look at being a target--it's called "mobbing" and Janice Harper outlines the problem in her book,  What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get You, (Tacoma:Backdoor Press, 2013). (paper) Essentially this about becoming the target of a group of people--why it happens and how to protect yourself.

Mobbed, but Thriving | Stop Bullying Coalition: "In order to " targets of group aggression find a safer and saner way to cope and overcome the brutality of bullying, mobbing and shunning," she wrote a book on mobbing. In it, Harper provides a perceptive analysis of aggressive group processes and how they interact with individual psychology and institutional settings. The book comprises an excellent review of human interaction patterns leading to mobbing, an analysis of the conditions faced by a mobbing victim in the workplace, and extensive practical advice to enable a victim to survive and avoid becoming a permanent victim. Harper presents essential down-to-earth guidance on how targets of mobbing can protect themselves emotionally, socially, and professionally."

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Thursday, March 23, 2017

New bill set to nail spouses who psychologically abuse their partners –Scottland

First France, then wales and England created laws against phycological abuse of a Scottland looks like they will join ranks with them.

Question: Would it be a good idea to have such a law in the US? I am torn. Since I know the only way to be abused mentally is to allow it--what happens to people who allow it? Do we create a dependent snowflake society where they need to punish people who make them feel bad? Or is this just a way to deal with bullies? It needs more thought. Read the article below for the details.
Nicola Sturgeon’s new bill set to nail spouses who psychologically abuse their partners – The Scottish Sun: "And it will clamp down on cases where people “coercively control” spouses or lovers. The First Minister launched the legislation yesterday as she met abuse survivors at a Glasgow Young Women’s Movement centre. She said: “I am proud that, as a society, we’ve come a long way from believing domestic abuse is only a physical act. “The psychological scars left by emotional abuse can have devastating effects on victims. This will help police and prosecutors hold abusers to account.” The Domestic Abuse (Scotland) Bill will bring Scots Law into line with England and Wales. It creates an offence of “abusive behaviour towards a partner or ex-partner”."

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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

From the Netherlands: Jesus are Anti-Abuse

This is insightful. Becky is sharing about what abuse is and isn't and tells us that it is anti Jesus! What does that mean? Read her story--she walks the walk and I find this story sweet and worth reading.

The Ethics of Jesus are Anti-Abuse (Becky Castle Miller): "Sometimes women are being abused and don’t realize it, because their male partners are not ripping down cabinets and leaving bruises. It’s important to understand what abuse is: “A pattern of coercive control that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical.” "

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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Damage Caused By Verbal Abuse - Science proves it, now what?

This is really a detailed article about bullying children. And it is pretty much wrong. It pertains to bully soccer coaches and how it damages the kids they coach. We know that and we know that scientific studies prove it. The damage goes deep. We know this too. This article discusses both sides of the debate about bully coaches:
I call out a bully coach, he gets his hackles up and fights back, more adults jump on either side of the debate and we all start slinging dirt until we get tired, bored, or distracted and move on but the one group who lives with this – the group who actually incur damages – are forgotten. Children.

But what the article doesn't cover is how this carries over to our personal relationships. Is it societies tolerance for such bullying that prepares us to accept such behavior in a marriage? Or is it society trying to shield kids from bullies that causes the damage? According to this article, bullying in sports causes every bad thing known to man--such as a weakened immune system, damage to connective tissue, obesity, drug abuse, mood disorders, smaller brains, Thinner Myelin Sheaths (skinny nerves), weaker brain cells, and finally "Learned helplessness and reduced self-esteem" Oh for heaven's sake.

The problem is us letting kids think they have no power--teach them to not put up with abuse! From anyone. Then you begin to build character. Bullying doesn't build character, but teaching kids not to react or to push against bullying does.

When are we going to stop framing everyone as a victim? Until we do, we will continue to produce kids who threaten to kill themselves when a candidate they don't like wins an election--don't let your kids be bullied--but not by teaching them to be a victim but by teaching them self respect and how to demand it from others. Read the article here:

Damage Caused By Verbal Abuse - Soccer Nation:

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