Tuesday, November 29, 2016

East Missoula gets hit with antisemitic fliers; schools report verbal abuse |

I am always ashamed of supposedly conservative groups who target other groups of people for race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation--in fact it sickens me. One of reasons this verbal abusive situation in Missoula caught my eye is because my daughter and grandchildren live in Montana.
I personally suffered at the hands of the Posse Comitatus in Idaho years ago (sued a member of the PC and unbeknownst to me, the judge was a member also, so I lost a clear cut case!) but that aside, So the American nazi party and groups like the Posse Comitatus are considered right wing groups! I am conservative and the America Nazi Party and Posse Comitatus are not conservative! They are closer to the left wing nut jobs who are so intolerant of anyone who doesn't agree with them. So why do so many (like members of my own family) persist in thinking these guys are conservatives and grouping me in with them???

I do not believe in verbally abusing others--in bullying them--that is one of the reasons I was resistant to voting for a big bully Trump. (I did vote in the end for him because I was voting for the Supreme Court nominee). But of course, verbal abuse does not follow political lines.

Still, I resent being lumped in with verbal abusers as if any group of A-holes who go after other groups makes them conservatives (that sort of ignores what the far left is doing, doesn't it?). At Quora there is a very good essay that explains why people are confused on this-- remember that Nazis are socialists!!!!! NOT CONSERVATIVES,

Our kids are not taught history anymore and that is a huge problem with this issue--here is what


Now we have seen Nazis were not really right, but why does everyone say that?
Remember how Nazis came to power: Dolchstosslegende - the communist Jew was the devil in person. What was the ideology farthest away from this? - A social-democratic Right (today we would rather say a national conservative Right). - They defined themselves that way to be a counter part to the so called Jewish communism, and neo Nazis still continue to consider themselves far right today. Media does what they always do and copy paste - Voilà, most without a degree in political science think: nazism = being far right.
So I'm telling you this--those hate groups have little to nothing to do with conservatism. Nothing to do with me. I am a conservative but believe in respecting other's choices. I believe in giving them the space they need to be who they are--I am not at all supportive of traditional hard core religious folks who claim to know what the Bible says for everyone, or Muslims who claim to know what the Qoran says for everyone, or the Posse Comitatus or the American Nazi party or any group that spews hate--the far left (Nazis) and the far right (religious intolerance) or even sometime bullies like Trump are not in my group.

Whatever party you identify with,I hope they are not in your group either--verbal abuse comes from people who want control over others-- conservatism is about respect for what you believe as long as it is a two way street.

Here is the news release I refer to:
East Missoula gets hit with antisemitic fliers; schools report verbal abuse | Helena Local News Feed | helenair.com:
PS: I have to say, Trump appears to be doing a lot better than I thought he would--so I am hoping that the bully stuff was just his way of "winning" and now that he has to turn the bully off--the verbal abuse and the disrespect.

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Sunday, November 20, 2016

Verbal Abuse Defense Workshop Graduates

We have two November graduates, Chesta and Chole. Both of them were very thorough.

Chesta explained what she learned about not allowing her partner to "control" her feelings. She wrote, "Do not engage in a conflict with the abuser and take back power. Target should walk away when the partner's angry and do not allow the abuser to control his/her feelings."

When talking about keeping their secrets, she also had empathy for you, the reader. She said one of her favorite reasons for not keeping was to "have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open." Oh how we wish that was really true. We find that most women simply think, "That won't happen to me." And they ignore the red flag. But at least she can tell her, "I tried to help the next one."

Chesta, you did a GREAT Job.

When asked, "How should you respond to verbal abuse?." Chloe answered, "It does make sense to me. It makes sense because, like how you choose the people you hang around/put up with, your spouse is another one of those people. You have theoretically made a promise to work at staying with them for the rest of your life so the first step is to not allow them to talk to you certain ways but if that doesn't work, then you may need to leave their company. The choice is up to you."

We do choose the people we hang out with and we do choose our partners. But we don't automatically "choose" an abuser. We actually help create them too. They act in a controlling manner and we try harder to please.. by trying harder, we actually reinforce their behavior--reward them so to speak. But Chole learned a lot. She learned that we do not allow them to talk to us in a demeaning manner. That is difficult for many. They think their partner should "just know." But they don't so we have to teach them what we allow and what we don't. She promised herself, "I will only participate in conversations where I am addressed in an adult manner."

That's what we like to hear.

We've had a few targets begin the tutorial and get to lesson three and then drop out. Rachel, Holly, Johan, and Elizebeth. We know the lessons are rough when you have to look at yourself and choices you've made. But seeing ourselves is the first step to change. Remember, you really can not change your partner, only yourself. We hope you return and finish.

Congratulations to all our participants--and those who haven't yet taken the tutorial, you can begin right now: Verbal Abuse Defense Workshop

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Charter school teachers quit over alleged physical, verbal abuse by students -

As long as we teach kids to "turn in their parents" for alleged abuse and make it seem like all kids are victims of their "bad" parents--kids become emboldened to abuse adults. I number of years ago I subbed in some Virginia schools and remember the kids screaming at us teachers "Don't you touch me! I'll call the police." This was because we were trying to keep the big kids from running over the little kids at lunch. the teachers were really afraid that the kids would turn them in. so often kids are not taught respect for elders--they are taught that if they look hard enough they may find a way to be abused so they can claim victimhood.  This makes it much much harder for us to work with addiction.
In order to begin recovery, an addict must take responsibility for their own choices--if they consider themselves to be a victim, they can't reach this vital step. Read about these teachers here--the backlash is coming and it's long overdue.
Charter school teachers quit over alleged physical, verbal abuse by students - Upper Peninsula ABC 10: "The teacher, who asked to not be shown on camera, says students, from first to eighth grade, verbally abuse teachers, constantly fight and are acting out of control.

“I know at least three of us had death threats from the kids,” the teacher said. “I would hold it together and I would leave and cry in my car at the end of the day,” she added."


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Thursday, November 3, 2016

Donald Trump should learn that his words were verbal abuse | NOT!

This article is a criticism of Mr. Trump by a young woman who is just that YOUNG. I don't want to criticize her as she does Mr. Trump

but if we don't tell people the truth, they find it hard to grow up. Our author, Morgan, had some terrific parents who would probably think she sort of missed the message they were trying to teach her. They didn't want her to be the recipient of verbal abuse.
Good.

They did not tell her, "but if anyone says something you don't like to someone else, not about you, orto you, or in the presence of you, but hypothetically about others--and its raunchy--we want you to call that verbal abuse and be offended."

To Morgan's Mom and Dad, I think you need to help Morgan understand what verbal abuse really is.It is when someone verbally says things to put you down, make you feel bad, and control you. It inot what one person says to another about hypothetical people and behaviors 30 years ago and you become offended on their hypothetical behalf.

This is not to say Morgan, that Donald hasn't been verbally abusive to others--I'd heard him a time ortwo when I would call him a big bad bully. Your example, however, was not one of them.
Morgan--keep writing and keep growing. You'll catch on.
Donald Trump should learn that his words were verbal abuse | The Crimson White: "Mr. Trump's words were not just “Locker Room Talk,” his words were verbal abuse. I have been continually conflicted by his choices this election season, because although I am a Conservative, I am a Christian who is dedicated to the basic morals of my religion."



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Friday, October 7, 2016

Rise in verbal abuse hurled at shoppers by rough sleepers

This is a disturbing new thing in verbal abuse--the homeless abusing people going about their daily business. It is like a Steven King novel--"sleepers" (the homeless we call them here) are getting more aggressive and abusive--How do we help the homeless (or sleepers) who become increasingly aggressive seemingly without provocation? I see another Stephen King novel on the way....

Rise in verbal abuse hurled at shoppers by rough sleepers - View News: "Weymouth and Portland community safety spokesman Councillor Francis Drake began to talk to View From about the threat but then had to break off as one of the “disturbed” street people abused a group of people just yards away in St Mary Street. Councillor Drake said: “I have been told of many incidents, seemingly committed by street people who have a serious mental problem. This is something quite recent."



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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Not Brad Pitt too! Maybe not...

Not every tale of abuse is real and we should not assume it is based on media attention. Sometimes, families are families and do crazy family stuff that does not rise to the level of "abuse."



I think this is one of those invasive media things where people in the limelight get shafted because media just wants to "hook" you into reading. At this point there is NOTHING to the allegations of verbal abuse and I say, leave them alone--they are a family and media attention right now is invasive and unwarranted.



Brad Pitt Is Reportedly Being Investigated For Alleged Verbal Abuse & "Getting Physical" With His Children — UPDATE | Bustle: "It's only been a few days since Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, but now, even more heartbreaking allegations has come out involving their split. According to a new report by TMZ, Brad Pitt is allegedly being investigated by the LAPD and the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services for verbal abuse and getting physical with his children. TMZ claims that on a recent flight taken by Pitt, now-ex Angelina Jolie, and their children, Pitt allegedly became inebriated, and then allegedly screamed and acted "physical" with the children."



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Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Keeping cool when verbally abused

 is a Voice Speaking Coach and has the right take on dealing with verbal abuse. She uses posture, attitude, and the miracle principle (taught in our work). I love it as more and more people see the wisdom in learning to stop abuse by not engaging. Read her article--very good.

Keeping cool when verbally abused - WeAreTheCity | Information, Networking, jobs & events for women: "So how do you deal with a screaming customer??? In my training courses I discuss different types of body language and how a neutral, none confrontational posture is more effective than a frightened or aggressive response. If you are able to maintain a neutral pose (and believe me it was difficult on Friday night), the abuser is going to grow tired of abusing since you aren’t reacting. Being aggressive back is like fire with fire. Although internally I was very stressed and shaken, I was able to maintain a calm exterior, avoiding escalating the problem. I hope you never have to deal with being verbally abused, but if you are, try to focus on maintaining an open, neutral posture and body language, to diffuse the situation. If you would like to discuss speaking and communication training, contact me. I would be delighted to discuss different options."



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