Thursday, July 18, 2013

Boyfriend’s profanity could be crossing into verbal abuse | Living | The Seattle Times

when people sear, it isn't Verbal abuse per se unless they are are swearing at you, calling you a f***king bi**h or saying you are fu**ing lazy--etc. How you respond makes all the difference in the world as to whether your potty mouthed boyfriend or girlfriend will continue.

How do  you respond--by cringing? Whining and saying, "You hurt my feelings?" Ignoring it? Acting hurt and surprised?  laughing and making a joke out it? Any of those responses might encourage more of the same. What if you simply said, "I don't allow anyone to talk to me that way." and then stopped communicating until they talked to you with respect. What might happen if you did this? Then left the area? Would you be teaching them that they got the reaction the wanted? Or would you be teaching them that if you are not treated with respect, you are not reacting with them. You react with adults who treat you well, not potty mouths who make life uncomfortable.

Read what this advice columnist answered to this perosn and let us know if you agree with her.

Boyfriend’s profanity could be crossing into verbal abuse | Living | The Seattle Times: "Hi Carolyn:

My boyfriend is sweet, kind, and everyone I know adores him. However, it bothers me that he often uses profanity when we are arguing (sometimes directed at me). He always apologizes afterward for doing so, and has admitted he needs to change, but it always slips out during arguments.

I have told him it is rude and something I will not stand for, but it continues to be a problem. Is this something that can change or is it just wishful thinking?"

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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Verbally abusive | a question answered by Manay Gina

Here's an online Q and A from a young woman named Manay--she has some pretty good advice. Read the questions and answer and consider why her answer is not to make the target a victim. We need more advice like this to retrain targets on how to protect themselves wand know that they can't really change their partners.

Verbally abusive | Tempo - News in a Flash: "Dear Manay Gina,
My husband is verbally abusive and aggressive when he’s drunk but he is very considerate and kind to everyone when he’s not. A number of times, I thought of leaving him with our two children but the thought of having a broken family scares me. Besides I think it’s too late for me to start anew because I am not really that young. What should I do?"

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