Saturday, February 15, 2014

Student-athletes should be protected from verbal abuse

We train other people how to treat us--that is the main message of Respect-Me-Rules. And the other side of the coin is that we learn how to abuse and be abused from others. Students in sports routinely are verbally abused as this opinion piece points out: "Athletes share a common denominator in the sense they receive so much verbal abuse. Professional and student-athletes share the responsibility of dealing with the constant heckling of fans and personal attacks on their character, but when enough is enough, isn't it enough?"

I don't have a strong opinion on this--I am not one of those who think kids on horses and bikes and walking down the street need helmets--So I don't think our athletes have to stop listening to coaches--or worse--stop playing altogether--we need a certain amount of "toughening up" or we'll be 'victims" all of our lives and expect others to rescue us. But its worth explaining and keeping in mind that sports is rough--and we might want to see what we are actually teaching our athletes with the verbal abuse things. Is there another way to do this? read below:

Foul play: Student-athletes should be protected from verbal abuse - : Opinion: "When you wake up every morning, do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and critique yourself? Do you point out your many weaknesses as a person emotionally, physically or mentally?
If you are one of the many people who answered no, then maybe you should think twice before you saddle up to get on your high horse."

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Thursday, February 6, 2014

Verbal abuse damaging to children - Angry all the time

here's a Dewar Abbey one (is she still alive???)

Someone writes in that her "good" husband is angry all the time. Well being angry all the time is abusive--what a horrible way to live. My ex was angry all the time--and he took his anger out on me. He used to say after he tore something up or destroyed some or punched a hole in the wall, "I hate it when this happens because then you focus on what I did and not on what you did to cause it."

I hated it that he thought I caused his anger! People are responsible for their own feelings and if they try to make you responsible, then they get abusive, or whiny, and certainly co-dependent. How does anger look in your relationships--is it healthy, "Ooh, I'm pissed I dropped that dang rock on my foot," or is it "Son of a B--why did you distract me and make me drop this on my foot."

The second response means you have an abusive spouse. read the story here:

Verbal abuse damaging to children - Times Union: "DEAR ABBY: My husband is a hard worker, a good provider and a good dad. However, he's angry all the time. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. He is aware of it, and always promises me that when this or that settles down, things will get better, but they never do."

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