tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50267136283359727592024-03-13T14:18:59.196-07:00Respect-me R.U.L.E.SJoin us as we discuss verbal and emotional abuse, why it occurs, and how you can stop it. Anyone can join in by making comments on the different blogs we post. This blog is based on the work of Dr. Mike and Shelly Marshall and their book, <a href="http://www.respectmerules.com"><i>respect-me</i>
R·U·L·E·S</a> Take our FREE workshop and stop calling yourself a "victim." Contact us at "info at RespectMeRules.com"Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.comBlogger413125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-62366036376557433092022-06-09T12:13:00.000-07:002022-06-09T12:13:02.469-07:00New Rule: The United States of Dumb-merica | Real Time with Bill Maher (...<div>Let's have a laugh--once in a while we have to lighten up!</div><iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/6dMOfwUP0F0" width="480"></iframe>Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-71337402163130194132022-04-12T13:01:00.000-07:002022-04-12T13:01:07.782-07:00Emotionally Abusive Relationships Can Be Hard to Recognize. Here’s Why<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPrkvAZOBSYY1HnlMrdP6oe20lRarvOx4Eey14yb0dxF1PcsX7KuEqNj9gAMaMKA4eO-5U2U5kQngHRqdgDkuZ_EK3bmPqccZDSJKXj4OjdAp7x3jJWYpvrLOtGjnT1UL1A7IgE0wJuXPV28gXfmvfq-fxOC6WGkZAvusb9t57GdL9g-8Pxg5nyw/s4900/woman-2775273.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Abuse creeps up slowly" border="0" data-original-height="2126" data-original-width="4900" height="139" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPrkvAZOBSYY1HnlMrdP6oe20lRarvOx4Eey14yb0dxF1PcsX7KuEqNj9gAMaMKA4eO-5U2U5kQngHRqdgDkuZ_EK3bmPqccZDSJKXj4OjdAp7x3jJWYpvrLOtGjnT1UL1A7IgE0wJuXPV28gXfmvfq-fxOC6WGkZAvusb9t57GdL9g-8Pxg5nyw/w320-h139/woman-2775273.jpg" title="They mess with your thinking and you don't know what is going on." width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Messing with your thinking</div><p><span style="color: white; font-family: arial;"> "<span face=""Proxima Nova", "Proxima Nova Fallback", sans-serif">Four months into a college relationship and I knew something was wrong: The man I was dating was no longer the romantic person I’d fallen in love with.</span></span></p><p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-top: 25px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: arial;">There were no more ice cream dates or bouquets of roses or long strolls by the river anymore — just belittling insults, manipulation, and heaps of blame for taking up so much of his time.</span></p><p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-top: 25px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: arial;">He rewrote my papers, ruined relationships with my other friends, and prohibited me from doing anything that he disapproved of."</span></p><p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-top: 25px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: arial;">Sound familiar??? This is a very good article to put things in perspective--and see how abuse creeps up on you.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/recognize-emotionally-abusive-relationships" target="_blank">Read this article by clicking here.</a></p>Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-16077906130176631532018-12-20T10:19:00.002-08:002018-12-20T10:19:49.216-08:00Abusive Holidays Suck!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/12/holidays-abusers" target="_blank">Abusive Holidays Suck</a><br />
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Excerpted:<br />
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Has your co-worker or loved one ever given you a beautiful gift, but then acted</div>
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<li style="box-sizing: border-box;">offended that you didn't appreciate it enough,</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;">claimed that you were lying about how much you liked it,</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;">snatched it back saying you didn't deserve it at all,</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;">or any other action that changed your happiness into some other feeling?</li>
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If so, you've experienced an abusive incident aimed at destroying your sense of reality. </div>
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There are things you can do--start with this article.</div>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-20657617104098355982018-10-09T15:43:00.000-07:002018-10-09T15:43:17.102-07:00PA-BE (Prevent Abuse Become Educated) videos (Session 1 & Session 2) on youtube<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We have a Youtube educational video sent in by Boni H.It's in two parts and we thank Boni for turning us on to it. It's like attending a college class--a little dry but very good information. It's worth your time. they use Patricia Evan's material and I highly support her work. Take a look--like, comment--and pass along.<br />
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1. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMpgFXT0IpY" style="color: #1155cc; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMpgFXT0IpY</a></div>
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2. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bsn1JoyRz5E" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bsn1JoyRz5E</a></div>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-80954143766066091032018-08-15T09:40:00.001-07:002018-08-15T09:40:32.365-07:00Sex bots? How will this contribute to emotional abuse?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Honestly--Sex bots????? I feel sorry for men who believe they must use these--or maybe have to because of disabilities or defermaties--but what does this say about real women and what their "competition" is? Will we suffer more emotional abuse becasue men now have a choice to have a non-threatening substitute? Hmmm..not sure what I think about sex bots--next stop,<br />
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stepford_Wives" id="title_1" name="title_1" rel="noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; color: #763b75; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 6px 0px 0px; outline: 0px;" target="_blank"><span class="result_url_heading" style="display: initial; margin: 0px;">The Stepford Wives </span></a></h3>
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https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6789055/sex-robot-addiction-warning-clinic-risk/</div>
Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-58806072668690886092018-07-26T22:46:00.002-07:002018-07-26T22:53:02.092-07:00Learning to do the "Walk Away"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_n1t7MobwvRDI-XrtZSWLAyc9x739eFNff5FLokfATyhAd63tbRuB72zoJyyXxGW6RINrc3wWm1PBPEYpozmziWhI49De0TRQV6uj09QUNQm8BuaW0ON9vAOnmBz-FtbNks9VljolIA/s1600/graduate-2091032_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_n1t7MobwvRDI-XrtZSWLAyc9x739eFNff5FLokfATyhAd63tbRuB72zoJyyXxGW6RINrc3wWm1PBPEYpozmziWhI49De0TRQV6uj09QUNQm8BuaW0ON9vAOnmBz-FtbNks9VljolIA/s320/graduate-2091032_1920.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">More graduates from the RespectMeRules.com tutorial. I must aplogize as I have been overwhelmed with work for 6 months. I sold the rights to "Sober Coaching Your Toxic Teen" to help alleviate the pressure and free up some time--let's hope it works so our participants in the tutorial are not neglected as I have recently done!</span></div>
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Our latest graduate, Boni H. went diving into the tutorial and had what I thought were some deep insights. She took her tutorial and her life lessons a notch higher and has prepared some educational videos in order to help others. They will be shared with our other participants once they come out--here is what Boni wrote about Closure:</div>
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I have created an educational presentation called Prevent Abuse-Become Educated. The focus is on learning how to recognized the subtle early warning signs of emotional abuse. It is currently being edited. I hope to have it available on youtube in a couple months. Like you, helping others has become my passion. This provides me with some of the closure I so desperately desire. A friend once told me that I need to acknowledge, accept, and adjust. It's tough but I am working on adjusting everyday. </div>
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Tassie from the UK had some peace after figuring out her closure, but I wanted to point something out about one lesson that needed some tweaking: Tassie gave a definition for Detachment, "Not allowing the behaviors of others to control me." It's true that controlling behavior is a major symptom of abusers, yet when trying to detach, it is more important, to not take responsibility for their behavior--rather than worrying about what they are trying to control. </div>
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Mai M is another graduate and I she had an interesting view of why Kathy let her abuse go so far. She wrote, "When you believe you love someone, and you try hard to create a life with them, it becomes very hard to see abuse as what it is, because it destroys your image of your relationship and the future. She was also afraid of him, and the abuse was gradual. She built a split reality." Abuse is like living in a split reality, you see yourself as one being--competent, caring, usually successful in one life and then your life with the abuser takes that all away and you become a bumbling, selfish, incompetent loser (via the eyes of your abuser which they manage to convince you of.) Mai has a very optimistic view on her closure--she wrote that she wants "a serious apology in front of other people, witnesses. This is to make up for how humiliated and ashamed I felt in front of others when he said and did certain things in public. I actually believe I will get this closure." I really hope she does, and that she will share that with us. </div>
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Maria F. started out slow saying, "Someone can only walk all over me because I let them. I am too weak." and ended up writing, "By doing my walk away, learned appropriate responses I focus on my self care and strengthen myself. This is not my fault as I was also abused as a child. Instead this will enable me to help and focus on my own health." I really like this phrase, "Doing my walk away..." Let's all remember to do that walk away when they get ugly!</div>
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Lindsey M. had a powerful response to how she would want to get closure, "I wanna know that he knows what he did and that he can recognize he actually did something wrong, and I can apologize for my wrong doings too and be able to move on knowing we both said everything we needed to." We always want them to know and understand what they did--that so seldom happens. It's sad--but wanting them to understand is still trying to control--we want to control how they think--sigh. It doesn't work as so many of us know. </div>
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And finally another from the UK, we have Nuala M. who learned something very important about personal power, "It makes sense because we give implicit permission to our abuser by tolerating their behavior. We need to respect ourselves and put boundaries in place. Take back our power."</div>
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Congratulations to all our graduates and now it is time to "Take back our power."</div>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-32258539651768864022018-04-25T10:06:00.002-07:002018-04-25T10:06:51.017-07:00The Most Effective Way to Put an End to Verbal Abuse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/shutterstock_80493052.jpg?itok=Tb_a3low" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/shutterstock_80493052.jpg?itok=Tb_a3low" /></a></div>
Ignoring the content of what the verbal abuser is saying is very difficult--it is best NOT to try the Respect-Me Rules until you understand what you are doing and will be consistent. Ignore the content and call them out for their abuse--do not put up with it and it stops--honest! In this article in Psycology Today--they support what Mike and I have said for years in Respect Me Rules.<br />
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<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201612/the-most-effective-way-put-end-verbal-abuse">The Most Effective Way to Put an End to Verbal Abuse | Psychology Today</a>: "The only effective way to put an end to verbal abuse is to call out the abuser each time they strike. If someone blames you for something you have no control over, you need to ignore the actual content of what's been said, identify the type of abuse employed, name it, and calmly ask the abuser to stop it (Evans, 2009)."</blockquote>
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a></div>
Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-45668132826186740882018-02-11T10:59:00.001-08:002018-02-11T10:59:52.550-08:00Reese Witherspoon Says Leaving an Abusive Relationship 'Changed Me on a Cellular Level'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is courage! We are so glad she shares her story! The more targets that come forward, the better it gets for everyone.<br />
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<a href="http://www.whas11.com/img/resize/www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/dist_rss/public/images/2018-02/reese_witherspoon_super_sou.jpg?preset=mb_large" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.whas11.com/img/resize/www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/dist_rss/public/images/2018-02/reese_witherspoon_super_sou.jpg?preset=mb_large" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.whas11.com/article/entertainment/entertainment-tonight/reese-witherspoon-says-leaving-an-abusive-relationship-changed-me-on-a-cellular-level/603-109c939d-4ad8-466f-afbc-720cae1a4f05">whas11.com | Reese Witherspoon Says Leaving an Abusive Relationship 'Changed Me on a Cellular Level'</a>: "During an interview with her Wrinkle in Time co-star, Oprah Winfrey, as part of Super Soul Sunday, the 41-year-old actress shares that the "most difficult decision" she ever had to make to fulfill her destiny was "leaving an abusive relationship."<br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a></div>
Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-52445302656717578272017-12-09T11:21:00.001-08:002017-12-09T11:21:26.002-08:00Woman Getting All Defensive About Inherent Worth And Selfhood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Made me laugh! worth reading to see things from the other side of the street.<br />
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<a href="https://local.theonion.com/woman-getting-all-defensive-about-inherent-worth-and-se-1821054329">Woman Getting All Defensive About Inherent Worth And Selfhood</a>: "“It’s like I can’t say a single cruel and demeaning thing without her getting touchy about her value as a human being,” said boyfriend Brad Larsen, adding that Resper gets “totally bent out of shape” every time he tries to completely discount what she wants to do with her life or clearly demonstrates that his needs are always going to be more important than hers. “Jesus, she’s so thin-skinned about constantly being told to be something she’s not. Seriously, I make the slightest attempt to diminish her or undermine any pride she may have in her accomplishments, and she just lashes out.”"</blockquote>
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a></div>
Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-75501980735359497122017-12-03T14:27:00.000-08:002017-12-03T14:27:14.714-08:00Emotional abuse takes toll | <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This woman understands but as if often the case--only after 20 years of taking it, does she finally "get it." Sigh. C, now is making a difference and speaking out--Do you or do the men in your life out? <span style="color: #1d1d1d; font-family: merriweather, georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;">“You don’t know that all this domineering behaviour is actually domestic violence,” she said.</span><br />
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<a href="http://nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/v1/crop/frm/WBrYxaV7NvpUswpWznezkJ/52d4e11e-807c-4d52-a3f2-68ed074b6438.png/r294_352_1202_864_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/v1/crop/frm/WBrYxaV7NvpUswpWznezkJ/52d4e11e-807c-4d52-a3f2-68ed074b6438.png/r294_352_1202_864_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="800" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.theflindersnews.com.au/story/5070749/emotional-abuse-takes-toll/">Emotional abuse takes toll | The Flinders News</a>: "But burning most fiercely in her heart, is the need to recognise that non-physical abuse can take as much toll as the physical forms of coercion. “Mental cruelty can take the form of yelling, isolating you from friends and family, threatening you, controlling you and being constantly critical of you,” Claire said. “It is a shock to me that the worst form of domestic violence has the least penalty."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-77340307128749604412017-11-19T17:38:00.002-08:002017-11-19T17:38:20.620-08:00Silent Treatment verses No Contact: | The Savvy Shrink<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Lots of times the participants of our online workshop want to make sure they don't act the same way as their abuser when they defend themselves. This is the case with the Silent Treatment used by the abuser to punish their partner and the No Contact used by the target to protect themselves. No, it is not the same thing.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JiMP9t3sX95z8tVOF3rvVJMitYX1vgfEtbRhX4cm4zlMsR0Oxul7QYs8ndKzGXKdKWdt2HHyGbX2Hp09zqs3q4AXAEIswubEREgQNWq2csCYKqUREcY_nhDuD238JCNvvWkDCOaxCA/s1600/canstockphoto10473811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1066" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JiMP9t3sX95z8tVOF3rvVJMitYX1vgfEtbRhX4cm4zlMsR0Oxul7QYs8ndKzGXKdKWdt2HHyGbX2Hp09zqs3q4AXAEIswubEREgQNWq2csCYKqUREcY_nhDuD238JCNvvWkDCOaxCA/s320/canstockphoto10473811.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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This is an article by the Savy Shrink that makes the distinction for you.<br />
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<a href="https://blogs.psychcentral.com/savvy-shrink/2017/11/silent-treatment-ghosting-and-no-contact-telling-it-like-it-is/">Silent Treatment, Ghosting, and No Contact: Telling It Like It Is | The Savvy Shrink</a>: "Time and again people are confusing the concepts of silent treatment, ghosting, and no contact. These topics are deployed as relates to communication between dating partners, friends, family members, and colleagues, and not always with the best of intentions. So to further assist with defining each of these concepts, the purpose of said action, and the intended response by the “executioner” of such statements shall be the focus of this article."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-65032706191504029512017-09-12T21:44:00.001-07:002017-09-12T21:44:07.483-07:008 Keys to Handling Adult Bullies | Psychology Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If your partner bullies you, here are some points to keep in mind--they work hand in hand with th Respect Me Rules.<br />
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<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201611/8-keys-handling-adult-bullies">8 Keys to Handling Adult Bullies | Psychology Today</a>: "“Bullies win when you’re upset.” — NCAB A common characteristic of bullies is that they project their aggression to push your buttons and keep you off balance. By doing so, they create an advantage from which they can exploit your weaknesses. If you are required to deal with an adult bully, one of the most important rules of thumb is to keep your cool"<br />
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-61984297232405807142017-08-31T18:05:00.001-07:002017-08-31T18:05:23.404-07:00Three New Graduates in Verbal Abuse Defense<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We have three new graduates from our online course in Verbal Abuse Defence. We also have another guy who participated and he was quite insightful. It's true that abuse affects any type of couple and any gender--most often we hear of the man abusing the woman and certainly that is more common. But we can't forget the abusive women also--and we appreciate participation from any gender as we share the beauty of understanding the Miracle Principle.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8vvkg1t6ib7AzL8G6kGwsh5uH-FC6CQ_I8G-gDLSieyRwpBPbgC3vFMUbzylMWRX-8N-QSNavCS-sUEZ8E2FTag2f0ck50fF_IQdNiZH0GbV4gChGRRGbUzstLtc5GqHClQyJG-RJSg/s1600/finishline.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="181" data-original-width="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8vvkg1t6ib7AzL8G6kGwsh5uH-FC6CQ_I8G-gDLSieyRwpBPbgC3vFMUbzylMWRX-8N-QSNavCS-sUEZ8E2FTag2f0ck50fF_IQdNiZH0GbV4gChGRRGbUzstLtc5GqHClQyJG-RJSg/s1600/finishline.png" /></a></div>
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Here are a few highlights from our participants:<br />
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<i>Jamie T</i> wrote this in what she wanted for closure, "I would like a divorce. His manipulation and controlling ways have such a negative effect on my ability to better myself and thus my family. As well as our children, they deserve a Father who is willing to do what is right for their betterment. I enable him to not change, we are no good for each other."<br />
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Dr. Marshall and I try to prevent couples breaking up if we can. Divorce is rough and if one hasn't dealt with the issues in this marriage--they often bring the same issues into the next. Jamie, we wish you well.<br />
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I loved what our guy graduate, <i>SG,</i> shared about detachment, "Detachment means separating myself from my wife's emotions, actions and behaviour. I am not responsible for any of those things, and they cannot affect my life more than I allow them to. Since I understand now that I am being abused, my priority is to ensure that I do not allow my wife to affect things important to me, while letting go of the idea that I can control or influence her into caring for me. Emotionally, financially, and otherwise, my life is my own and her life is her own. I will not attempt to harm her, I will not break my commitments, but I will also not try to make her behavior 'better', and I will not allow her to affect me."<br />
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<i>KM</i> is the final participant who earned a certificate this month. She was brief in her lessons, but right to the point. This is what she wrote about responding to her partner's abuse, "Do not respond. Take back your power. Yes, it makes sense. I have let him abuse me by not stopping it."<br />
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Your certificates have been emailed. Please print them out and frame them so you remember where RESPECT begins. It begins with you.</div>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-16777580566122656812017-07-25T22:24:00.000-07:002017-07-25T22:24:05.689-07:00What to do if you see domestic abuse in public.what kind of a jerk does that?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Seeing abuse in public is always hard on me. I want to help and yet I know that most partners really don't want help. They want sympathy--they want someone to talk sense into their partner, they want someone to make it stop. The thing is, only they can make it stop by demanding respect--they don't know they actually have the power it the relationship--they think it is the abuser.But the abuser abuses from a place of feeling powerless..so ironic. So what kind of a jerk abuses? Teh kind who has no power.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJGSO0hwcmcVe1IRhyuZSSypstC5LvRYYldZWmNuuvCBRV-lyMHnpAKbNiMpSfR0gL-9GbSmjBgBRBaFLedUbxMn_0AdMuUprCG1Tltr0Ubo0amy9ls21On_l-aCftz5RCdIdb3WxUJQ/s1600/abuse.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="133" data-original-width="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJGSO0hwcmcVe1IRhyuZSSypstC5LvRYYldZWmNuuvCBRV-lyMHnpAKbNiMpSfR0gL-9GbSmjBgBRBaFLedUbxMn_0AdMuUprCG1Tltr0Ubo0amy9ls21On_l-aCftz5RCdIdb3WxUJQ/s1600/abuse.png" /></a></div>
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This is a good article to read.<br />
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<a href="http://theweek.com/articles/713019/what-domestic-abuse-public">What to do if you see domestic abuse in public</a>: "What? Who?<br />
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Between gasps, she explained that she and her boyfriend had just been in a fight, and it had ended with him storming off, taking her glasses with him. She had poor eyesight, and couldn't see well enough to find her way out of the park. To make matters worse, she wasn't from London, and her phone was dead.<br />
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She was stranded, far from home, and unable to see. No wonder she was so upset. What kind of jerk does that? I thought."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-71384579200890744812017-06-25T10:51:00.000-07:002017-06-25T10:59:41.980-07:00Is Verbal Abuse Grounds For Divorce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evemedia/eveimages/sunday/is_verbal_abuse_grou594f5ce9e107a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="364" height="219" src="https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evemedia/eveimages/sunday/is_verbal_abuse_grou594f5ce9e107a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Here is a woman being verbally abused with one I had not heard of before! The husband puts her down and calls her names all the time (well, of course, we've heard of that) but he also stores her cell number in his phone under the name "bitch." What would you do to set a boundary with this one?<br />
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Hmm, not answer the phone if it is under "bitch?"<br />
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Change my number? Not give it to him unless he uses my real name?<br />
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Get a shirt with the name "bitch" done in rhinestones and be proud of it?<br />
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<a href="https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evewoman/article/2001244794/is-verbal-abuse-grounds-for-divorce">Evewoman: Is Verbal Abuse Grounds For Divorce - The Standard</a>:</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-35574491664129926932017-05-29T10:43:00.002-07:002017-05-29T10:43:48.442-07:00Woman told 'I hope you get raped' in shocking verbal abuse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://i3.getwestlondon.co.uk/incoming/article13041675.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/Victoria-Kember.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.getwestlondon.co.uk/incoming/article13041675.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/Victoria-Kember.jpg" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="800" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
I hear that Europe is getting worse for women being openly abused on the the streets in public and few are stepping up to defend them. One Mayor's answer (in Sweden) was for women to dress more moderately. As long as we allow the verbal abuse with no repercussions--it can and will escalate to physical abuse. Demand respect right from the beginning and don't kow tow to the bullying and you help head it off at the pass. However, in today's politically correct world, we have few that are willing to be seen as "racist" --so if the abuser happens to be a minority race--guess what--you ladies are on your own!<br />
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<a href="http://www.getwestlondon.co.uk/news/west-london-news/woman-told-i-hope-you-13041666">Woman told 'I hope you get raped' in shocking verbal abuse at west London Underground station - Get West London</a>: "Victoria Kember was travelling alone when she was subjected to a torrent of vitriolic abuse after confronting a group of men who catcalled her"</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-18351356510411526542017-04-28T12:45:00.001-07:002017-04-28T12:45:46.169-07:00Verbal abuse during pregnancy increases risk of postpartum depression: survey<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20170424/p2a/00m/0na/016000c">Verbal abuse during pregnancy increases risk of postpartum depression: survey - The Mainichi</a>: "The study indicates that postnatal depression occurs at a considerably high rate among pregnant victims of domestic violence. Postpartum depression is often seen over a period of several months from childbirth, with physical symptoms including insomnia and lack of appetite. It is said to affect one in 10 mothers. Because serious cases can lead to suicide or child abuse, a system began this month in Japan to have the central government and local bodies subsidize the cost of medical checks for mothers two weeks and one month after childbirth"<br />
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-76466535152392386002017-04-11T09:40:00.000-07:002017-04-11T09:40:05.154-07:00Mobbed, but Thriving | Stop Bullying Coalition<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We generally experience bullying from our spouses in interpersonal relationships--but here's a new look at being a target--it's called "mobbing" and Janice Harper outlines the problem in her book, <cite style="background-color: #f7f7f7; box-sizing: border-box; color: #363636; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get You,</cite><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #363636; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> (Tacoma:Backdoor Press, 2013). (paper) Essentially this about becoming the target of a group of people--why it happens and how to protect yourself.</span><br />
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<a href="http://stopbullyingcoalition.org/sites/default/files/field/image/Janice-Harper-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://stopbullyingcoalition.org/sites/default/files/field/image/Janice-Harper-3.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://stopbullyingcoalition.org/harper">Mobbed, but Thriving | Stop Bullying Coalition</a>: "In order to "...help targets of group aggression find a safer and saner way to cope and overcome the brutality of bullying, mobbing and shunning," she wrote a book on mobbing. In it, Harper provides a perceptive analysis of aggressive group processes and how they interact with individual psychology and institutional settings. The book comprises an excellent review of human interaction patterns leading to mobbing, an analysis of the conditions faced by a mobbing victim in the workplace, and extensive practical advice to enable a victim to survive and avoid becoming a permanent victim. Harper presents essential down-to-earth guidance on how targets of mobbing can protect themselves emotionally, socially, and professionally."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-9002782601953458312017-03-23T13:46:00.001-07:002017-03-23T13:46:15.884-07:00New bill set to nail spouses who psychologically abuse their partners –Scottland<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
First France, then wales and England created laws against phycological abuse of a spouse...now Scottland looks like they will join ranks with them.<br />
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<a href="https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/03/cara-e1490047488729.jpg?strip=all&w=572&quality=100" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/03/cara-e1490047488729.jpg?strip=all&w=572&quality=100" width="310" /></a></div>
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Question: Would it be a good idea to have such a law in the US? I am torn. Since I know the only way to be abused mentally is to allow it--what happens to people who allow it? Do we create a dependent snowflake society where they need to punish people who make them feel bad? Or is this just a way to deal with bullies? It needs more thought. Read the article below for the details.<br />
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<a href="https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/751377/nicola-sturgeons-new-bill-set-to-nail-spouses-who-psychologically-abuse-their-partners/">Nicola Sturgeon’s new bill set to nail spouses who psychologically abuse their partners – The Scottish Sun</a>: "And it will clamp down on cases where people “coercively control” spouses or lovers. The First Minister launched the legislation yesterday as she met abuse survivors at a Glasgow Young Women’s Movement centre. She said: “I am proud that, as a society, we’ve come a long way from believing domestic abuse is only a physical act. “The psychological scars left by emotional abuse can have devastating effects on victims. This will help police and prosecutors hold abusers to account.” The Domestic Abuse (Scotland) Bill will bring Scots Law into line with England and Wales. It creates an offence of “abusive behaviour towards a partner or ex-partner”."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-42592051510991641822017-03-14T16:54:00.000-07:002017-03-14T16:54:24.460-07:00From the Netherlands: Jesus are Anti-Abuse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is insightful. Becky is sharing about what abuse is and isn't and tells us that it is anti Jesus! What does that mean? Read her story--she walks the walk and I find this story sweet and worth reading.<br />
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<a href="http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/files/2017/03/Screen-Shot-2017-03-03-at-5.19.28-PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/files/2017/03/Screen-Shot-2017-03-03-at-5.19.28-PM.png" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/2017/03/06/ethics-jesus-anti-abuse-becky-castle-miller/">The Ethics of Jesus are Anti-Abuse (Becky Castle Miller)</a>: "Sometimes women are being abused and don’t realize it, because their male partners are not ripping down cabinets and leaving bruises. It’s important to understand what abuse is: “A pattern of coercive control that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical.” "<br />
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-56777984833320914192016-12-17T21:03:00.000-08:002016-12-17T21:03:16.335-08:00Damage Caused By Verbal Abuse - Science proves it, now what?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is really a detailed article about bullying children. And it is pretty much wrong. It pertains to bully soccer coaches and how it damages the kids they coach. We know that and we know that scientific studies prove it. The damage goes deep. We know this too. This article discusses both sides of the debate about bully coaches:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I call out a bully coach, he gets his hackles up and fights back, more adults jump on either side of the debate and we all start slinging dirt until we get tired, bored, or distracted and move on but the one group who lives with this – the group who actually incur damages – are forgotten. Children.</span></blockquote>
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But what the article doesn't cover is how this carries over to our personal relationships. Is it societies tolerance for such bullying that prepares us to accept such behavior in a marriage? Or is it society trying to shield kids from bullies that causes the damage? According to this article, bullying in sports causes every bad thing known to man--such as a weakened immune system, damage to connective tissue, obesity, drug abuse, mood disorders, smaller brains, Thinner Myelin Sheaths (skinny nerves), weaker brain cells, and finally "Learned helplessness and reduced self-esteem" Oh for heaven's sake.<br />
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The problem is us letting kids think they have no power--teach them to <i>not</i> put up with abuse! From anyone. Then you begin to build character. Bullying doesn't build character, but teaching kids not to react or to push against bullying does.<br />
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When are we going to stop framing everyone as a victim? Until we do, we will continue to produce kids who threaten to kill themselves when a candidate they don't like wins an election--don't let your kids be bullied--but not by teaching them to be a victim but by teaching them self respect and how to demand it from others. Read the article here:<br />
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<a href="https://www.soccernation.com/damage-caused-by-verbal-abuse/">Damage Caused By Verbal Abuse - Soccer Nation</a>:<br />
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-35592193625103089252016-11-29T12:23:00.002-08:002016-11-29T12:23:30.926-08:00East Missoula gets hit with antisemitic fliers; schools report verbal abuse | <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am always ashamed of supposedly conservative groups who target other groups of people for race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation--in fact it sickens me. One of reasons this verbal abusive situation in Missoula caught my eye is because my daughter and grandchildren live in Montana.<br />
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I personally suffered at the hands of the Posse Comitatus in Idaho years ago (sued a member of the PC and unbeknownst to me, the judge was a member also, so I lost a clear cut case!) but that aside, So the American nazi party and groups like the Posse Comitatus are considered right wing groups! I am conservative and the America Nazi Party and Posse Comitatus are not conservative! They are closer to the left wing nut jobs who are so intolerant of anyone who doesn't agree with them. So why do so many (like members of my own family) persist in thinking these guys are conservatives and grouping me in with them???<br />
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I do not believe in verbally abusing others--in bullying them--that is one of the reasons I was resistant to voting for a big bully Trump. (I did vote in the end for him because I was voting for the Supreme Court nominee). But of course, verbal abuse does not follow political lines.<br />
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Still, I resent being lumped in with verbal abusers as if any group of A-holes who go after other groups makes them conservatives (that sort of ignores what the far left is doing, doesn't it?). At Quora there is a very good essay that explains why people are confused on this-- remember that Nazis are <i>socialists!</i>!!!! NOT CONSERVATIVES,<br />
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Our kids are not taught history anymore and that is a huge problem with this issue--here is what<br />
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<span class="feed_item_answer_user" style="display: block; line-height: 1.2em; margin-bottom: 2px;"><span id="PcEiXM"><span id="hGUWmL"><span id="shJrmu"><span class="hover" id="__w2_N1jrfY5_link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_2078366013">Isidora Müller</a></b></span></span></span><span class="IdentitySig ActorNameSig IdentityNameSig" id="__w2_pabn9FK_bio"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_2078366013">, </a><span id="__w2_pabn9FK_link"><span class="IdentitySig ActorNameSig IdentityNameSig" id="__w2_pabn9FK_sig"><span class="truncated_para_breaks expanded_q_text" id="__w2_xw2cGAx_text_snip" style="tab-size: 2em; user-select: auto;"><span id="__w2_xw2cGAx_text_snip_content" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="rendered_qtext" style="tab-size: 2em;"><a href="https://www.quora.com/Why-are-Nazis-considered-to-be-right-wing-parties" target="_blank">M.Soc.Sci</a>, has to say:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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Now we have seen Nazis were not really right, but why does everyone say that?<br />
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Remember how Nazis came to power: <a class="external_link" data-qt-tooltip="wikipedia.org" data-tooltip="attached" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stab-in-the-back_myth" rel="noopener nofollow" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: url("data:image/svg+xml,%3C%3Fxml%20version%3D%221.0%22%20encoding%3D%22UTF-8%22%20standalone%3D%22no%22%3F%3E%0A%3Csvg%20width%3D%2214px%22%20height%3D%2214px%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2014%2014%22%20version%3D%221.1%22%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20xmlns%3Axlink%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F1999%2Fxlink%22%20xmlns%3Asketch%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bohemiancoding.com%2Fsketch%2Fns%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3C!--%20Generator%3A%20Sketch%203.5.2%20(25235)%20-%20http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bohemiancoding.com%2Fsketch%20--%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3Ctitle%3Eexternal_link%3C%2Ftitle%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3Cdesc%3ECreated%20with%20Sketch.%3C%2Fdesc%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3Cdefs%3E%3C%2Fdefs%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3Cg%20id%3D%22Page-1%22%20stroke%3D%22none%22%20stroke-width%3D%221%22%20fill%3D%22none%22%20fill-rule%3D%22evenodd%22%20sketch%3Atype%3D%22MSPage%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Cg%20id%3D%22external_link%22%20sketch%3Atype%3D%22MSLayerGroup%22%20fill%3D%22%23ccc%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Cpath%20d%3D%22M10%2C8%20C9.447%2C8%209%2C8.448%209%2C9%20L9%2C12%20L2%2C12%20L2%2C5%20L5%2C5%20C5.553%2C5%206%2C4.552%206%2C4%20C6%2C3.448%205.553%2C3%205%2C3%20L1%2C3%20C0.447%2C3%200%2C3.448%200%2C4%20L0%2C13%20C0%2C13.552%200.447%2C14%201%2C14%20L10%2C14%20C10.553%2C14%2011%2C13.552%2011%2C13%20L11%2C9%20C11%2C8.448%2010.553%2C8%2010%2C8%20L10%2C8%20Z%22%20id%3D%22Shape%22%20sketch%3Atype%3D%22MSShapeGroup%22%3E%3C%2Fpath%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Cpath%20d%3D%22M13%2C0%20L8%2C0%20C7.447%2C0%207%2C0.448%207%2C1%20C7%2C1.552%207.447%2C2%208%2C2%20L10.586%2C2%20L4.293%2C8.293%20C3.902%2C8.684%203.902%2C9.316%204.293%2C9.707%20C4.488%2C9.902%204.744%2C10%205%2C10%20C5.256%2C10%205.512%2C9.902%205.707%2C9.707%20L12%2C3.414%20L12%2C6%20C12%2C6.552%2012.447%2C7%2013%2C7%20C13.553%2C7%2014%2C6.552%2014%2C6%20L14%2C1%20C14%2C0.448%2013.553%2C0%2013%2C0%20L13%2C0%20Z%22%20id%3D%22Shape%22%20sketch%3Atype%3D%22MSShapeGroup%22%3E%3C%2Fpath%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%3C%2Fg%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3C%2Fg%3E%0A%3C%2Fsvg%3E"); background-origin: initial; background-position: right 0.3em; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 10.5px; color: #2b6dad; padding-right: 15px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Dolchstosslegende</a> - the communist Jew was the devil in person. What was the ideology farthest away from this? - A social-democratic Right (today we would rather say a national conservative Right). - They defined themselves that way to be a counter part to the so called Jewish communism, and neo Nazis still continue to consider themselves far right today. Media does what they always do and copy paste - Voilà, most without a degree in political science think: nazism = being far right.</blockquote>
So I'm telling you this--those hate groups have little to nothing to do with conservatism. Nothing to do with me. I am a conservative but believe in respecting other's choices. I believe in giving them the space they need to be who they are--I am not at all supportive of traditional hard core religious folks who claim to know what the Bible says for everyone, or Muslims who claim to know what the Qoran says for everyone, or the Posse Comitatus or the American Nazi party or any group that spews hate--the far left (Nazis) and the far right (religious intolerance) or even sometime bullies like Trump are not in <i>my</i> group.<br />
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Whatever party you identify with,I hope they are not in your group either--verbal abuse comes from people who want control over others-- conservatism is about respect for what you believe as long as it is a two way street.<br />
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Here is the news release I refer to:<br />
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<a href="http://helenair.com/news/local/east-missoula-gets-hit-with-antisemitic-fliers-schools-report-verbal/article_d5af7677-0501-5ea7-9951-f6baf2fd3a11.html">East Missoula gets hit with antisemitic fliers; schools report verbal abuse | Helena Local News Feed | helenair.com</a>:</blockquote>
PS: I have to say, Trump appears to be doing a lot better than I thought he would--so I am hoping that the bully stuff was just his way of "winning" and now that he has to turn the bully off--the verbal abuse and the disrespect.<br />
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-85408317370542002332016-11-20T08:53:00.001-08:002016-11-20T09:04:33.449-08:00Verbal Abuse Defense Workshop Graduates<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We have two November graduates, Chesta and Chole. Both of them were very thorough.<br />
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Chesta explained what she learned about not allowing her partner to "control" her feelings. She wrote, "Do not engage in a conflict with the abuser and take back power. Target should walk away when the partner's angry and do not allow the abuser to control his/her feelings."<br />
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When talking about keeping their secrets, she also had empathy for you, the reader. She said one of her favorite reasons for not keeping was to "have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open." Oh how we wish that was really true. We find that most women simply think, "That won't happen to me." And they ignore the red flag. But at least she can tell her, "I tried to help the next one."<br />
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Chesta, you did a GREAT Job.<br />
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When asked, "How should you respond to verbal abuse?." Chloe answered, "It does make sense to me. It makes sense because, like how you choose the people you hang around/put up with, your spouse is another one of those people. You have theoretically made a promise to work at staying with them for the rest of your life so the first step is to not allow them to talk to you certain ways but if that doesn't work, then you may need to leave their company. The choice is up to you."<br />
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We do choose the people we hang out with and we do choose our partners. But we don't automatically "choose" an abuser. We actually help create them too. They act in a controlling manner and we try harder to please.. by trying harder, we actually reinforce their behavior--reward them so to speak. But Chole learned a lot. She learned that we do not allow them to talk to us in a demeaning manner. That is difficult for many. They think their partner should "just know." But they don't so we have to teach them what we allow and what we don't. She promised herself, "I will only participate in conversations where I am addressed in an adult manner."<br />
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That's what we like to hear.<br />
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We've had a few targets begin the tutorial and get to lesson three and then drop out. Rachel, Holly, Johan, and Elizebeth. We know the lessons are rough when you have to look at yourself and choices you've made. But seeing ourselves is the<i> first step</i> to change. Remember, you really can <i>not</i> change your partner, only yourself. We hope you return and finish.<br />
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Congratulations to all our participants--and those who haven't yet taken the tutorial, you can begin right now: <a href="http://www.respectmerules.com/workshopintro.html" target="_blank">Verbal Abuse Defense Workshop</a></div>
Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-51336657324619633292016-11-08T19:31:00.001-08:002016-11-08T19:31:14.879-08:00Charter school teachers quit over alleged physical, verbal abuse by students -<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As long as we teach kids to "turn in their parents" for alleged abuse and make it seem like all kids are victims of their "bad" parents--kids become emboldened to abuse adults. I number of years ago I subbed in some Virginia schools and remember the kids screaming at us teachers "Don't you touch me! I'll call the police." This was because we were trying to keep the big kids from running over the little kids at lunch. the teachers were really afraid that the kids would turn them in. so often kids are not taught respect for elders--they are taught that if they look hard enough they may find a way to be abused so they can claim victimhood. This makes it much much harder for us to work with addiction.<br />
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In order to begin recovery, an addict must take responsibility for their own choices--if they consider themselves to be a victim, they can't reach this vital step. Read about these teachers here--the backlash is coming and it's long overdue.<br />
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<a href="http://abc10up.com/charter-school-teachers-quit-alleged-physical-verbal-abuse-students/">Charter school teachers quit over alleged physical, verbal abuse by students - Upper Peninsula ABC 10</a>: "The teacher, who asked to not be shown on camera, says students, from first to eighth grade, verbally abuse teachers, constantly fight and are acting out of control.<br />
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“I know at least three of us had death threats from the kids,” the teacher said. “I would hold it together and I would leave and cry in my car at the end of the day,” she added."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026713628335972759.post-59143012764751409582016-11-03T21:14:00.003-07:002016-11-03T21:27:38.643-07:00Donald Trump should learn that his words were verbal abuse | NOT!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This article is a criticism of Mr. Trump by a young woman who is just that YOUNG. I don't want to criticize her as she does Mr. Trump<br />
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but if we don't tell people the truth, they find it hard to grow up. Our author, Morgan, had some terrific parents who would probably think she sort of missed the message they were trying to teach her. They didn't want her to be the recipient of verbal abuse.<br />
Good.<br />
<br />They did not tell her, "but if anyone says something you don't like to someone else, not about you, orto you, or in the presence of you, but hypothetically about others--and its raunchy--we want you to call that verbal abuse and be offended."<br /><br />To Morgan's Mom and Dad, I think you need to help Morgan understand what verbal abuse really is.It is when someone verbally says things to put you down, make you feel bad, and control you. It inot what one person says to another about hypothetical people and behaviors 30 years ago and you become offended on their hypothetical behalf.<br />
<br />This is not to say Morgan, that Donald hasn't been verbally abusive to others--I'd heard him a time ortwo when I would call him a big bad bully. Your example, however, was not one of them.<br />Morgan--keep writing and keep growing. You'll catch on.<br />
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<a href="http://www.cw.ua.edu/article/2016/11/donald-trump-should-learn-that-his-words-were-verbal-abuse">Donald Trump should learn that his words were verbal abuse | The Crimson White</a>: "Mr. Trump's words were not just “Locker Room Talk,” his words were verbal abuse. I have been continually conflicted by his choices this election season, because although I am a Conservative, I am a Christian who is dedicated to the basic morals of my religion."</blockquote>
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Shellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07511808971885986417noreply@blogger.com0