Review - Respect-Me Rules - Self-Help: ""Targets" as described in the Respect-me-Rules are people who respond to aggression with increased compliance thus "training" their abusers that rude behavior is an effective means of communication. The dynamic between the two partners can be upset by changes in the target’s behavior, regardless of whether the abuser changes. This is important, because as the authors point out, even if the target feels the abuser is at fault, we have no control over what others do. (emphasis mine.) Therefore, if targets wish to see change in the relationship, change they must."
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