Sunday, June 12, 2005

17 Signs of a Bad Boyfriend

The last four signs of a bad boyfriend are classic signs of an abuser:
  1. If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
  2. If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
  3. If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't (fill in the blank)," that's another sign of an abuser.
  4. And if he's mean to children, pets, or animals, recognize that he's pathological, and the next victim could be you.


  1. another sign is how does he treat your mother?? Our abuser was as lacking there as anywhere.

  2. This is very true. We must look always look at how they REALLY treat and feel about their mother because they may appear on the surface to be "good" to them but what's underneath? For instance. Bob, my ex looked after his mom's property when she went to Florida and also fixed things for her when she needed it. I saw this a sign that he would make a good husband. BUT I ignored the fact that once he yelled at her (humiliating her)in front of me because of something innocent she said and I was appauled. He used to bad mouth her all the time to me about how she was miserable to him in childhood, how she wouldn't 'listen' to him about this and that, how she favored the other kids over him and he got a raw deal in childhood. He once was a stock broker and talked her into a really bad deal and when she pulled her money out he was discusted with her because she wouldn't listen again--pretty obvious that even though he looked after her property, he felt cheated by her, had no respect for her, and generally disliked her.

    It was strange because her and I loved each other! But me ignoring his deep feelings about her was actually part of my denial--looking at the good signs and ignoring the rest.

    Thanks for the observation!

  3. Hi Shelly,
    Just a thought, I have the odd boyfriend in my day, lol do not date at present. I did notice one area of interest in the observation, men too close with mom. I personally would wonder about mother's who use it to be a form of manipulation with their sons. Form of saying little remarks about who is good enough to date, etc. I find if you are a women with your own personal ideas, some mother's do not feel too comfortable with this way too communicate with their sons. I feel open communication is important in any relationship. Take care Holly
    Thanks for the tips!

  4. Hi Shelly,
    I had a woman email me who's daughter was drugged by her boyfriend and raped! It is sad that it is one of the most violent ways to rape someone, date rape is a growing concern. As women we need to be aware of this type of violence. Be safe from this abuse!

  5. What if you are just starting a relationship, and he is a little too close and keeps pushing thathe wants to see me and assassinate people that are bothering. I panic when I talk to him sometimes. What should I do?


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