Daddy Jekyll, Daddy Hyde: Transforming patterns of verbal abuse for the sake of our children

If you are a follower of mine or even if you simply want to know more about abuse--read this woman's story. My heart went out to her. I don't like to see marriages break up, but sometimes we have no choice--whenI read this:

“Tell me a story, Mommy.”
“Sure sweetheart,” Carol replied.
“Tell me a story about why Daddy gets mad.” 

It spoke to my heart.

Daddy Jekyll, Daddy Hyde: Transforming patterns of verbal abuse for the sake of our children | PhillyVoice: "“Most of our friends really never believed me when I explained that Ken has an ugly temper,” Carol states, shaking her head. “But he does, he does.”

Carol remembers the turning point."



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ABC stands by 'verbal abuse of sheep' report despite claims it is misleading

Peta is taking excepiton to the sotry we reported aobut the verbally abused sheep--but ABC stands by it.

ABC stands by 'verbal abuse of sheep' report despite claims it is misleading | Media | The Guardian: "The ABC is standing by the veracity of a rural news report which claimed animal rights activists had complained about sheep being verbally abused by shearers, despite claims it is highly misleading."



“The allegation was that bad language was used by an employee on the property in front of the sheep, and that they could have been offended by the use of bad language.”









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PETA’s Complaint of ‘Verbal Abuse’ Against Sheep Was Actually Investigated |

OMG--unbelievable.Verbally abusing sheep! Does PETA's filing a complaint about a farmer verbally abusing his sheep help the cause of verbal and emotional abuse or trivialize it?

PETA’s Complaint of ‘Verbal Abuse’ Against Sheep Was Actually Investigated | National Review Online: "epresentatives from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals went undercover to get footage of a sheep farmer using curse words in front of a flock at Boorungie Station in Australia — then used it to file a complaint claiming the behavior constituted  abuse."



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5 New Graduates in Verbal Abuse Defense

We have 5 ladies (no men this time but we keep asking) who have completed the course on Verbal Abuse Defense. Here is the certificate they received (how about you?)

Each participant had their own take on teh answers--here are a few highlights:

Luci H wrote about Detachment, "You do not judge, retaliate or hurt. You simply state this is what you can do to me and this is what you cannot."

Lisa B explained why we are actually hurting another by giving them everything they want and by allowing them to be mean to us, "by giving a person everything they want is hurting them because they need to learn that not everything is handed to you."

Jilly D answered "How should you respond to verbal abuse?." Do not engage.
  Walk away.
  Do not react.
  Do not feed the desire to control.
  Yes - if I am not feeding his desire to control and to create a reaction, then his "addiction" is not fed and he will go somewhere else to get his "fix"

Susanne D talked about detachment, "Detachment is separating oneself from adverse, unpleasant or undesirable effects of abuse from someone in order to take good care of yourself."

and my all time favorite came from Donna K who said taht to improve her relationship she "don't be kissing his butt!!" Way to go Donna.

Congrats to our participants!

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse | The Exhausted Woman

Wow--how true this is! Often the abuser manages to convince the target (we don't use the word 'victim') that it is in fact they who caused this abuse and the abuser becomes the victim with the target begging for fogiveness... the cycle is baffling for those caught in this vicious pattern. This is an article you must read!

The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse | The Exhausted Woman: "Narcissism changes the back end of the cycle because the narcissist is constantly self-centered and unwilling to admit fault.  Their need to be superior, right, or in charge limits the possibility of any real reconciliation. Instead, it is frequently the abused who desperately tries for appeasement while the narcissist plays the victim. This switchback tactic emboldens the narcissist behavior even more, further convincing them of their faultlessness."

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Verbal abuse of elderly is heartless, dehumanizing

You don't have to be young or a spouse to be abused--it happens in all strata. WE always say that someone can only abuse you if you allow it--but the really young and the really elder folk sometimes can't stop it--, they are not able and those are the ones we need desperately to protect. It is dehumanizing.

Verbal abuse of elderly is heartless, dehumanizing: "Verbal abuse is one of the most heartless and dehumanizing behaviors that seems to have become the norm in so many situations where senior citizens are left in the care of family members. This can be seen every day in grocery stores, malls and restaurants across the country, with the worst abuse being perpetrated behind closed doors. The testimonies of many of these folks who fall victim to this atrocious malign are heartbreaking. “Honor Thy Father and Mother” is one of God’s Ten Commandments"

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Swift: Difficult to know how to respond in face of verbal abuse |

This is  a story about verbal abuse and a child--"Its hard to know what to do.." the Article says. When you see abouse, verbal abuse, in public--do you step in? Do you stay out? Will you make it worse if you point out they are being abusive?

When my husband dislocated my jaw, I decided to press charges. The Sheriff told me, "I will do this if you promise to leave. If I do this and you go back, the next time it will be wrose. I will not file a clim for you unless you can pormise you willnot go back..." best advice ever. I did not file charges and it woudl have been worse. Wehn I was ready to leave--a few months later, I left and never looked back. So interviening has to be well thought out--will you make it worse? Can you stay and help the person after you help the person? Think long and hard. The Sheriff knew he could help that day, but waht aoub the next week?



Swift: Difficult to know how to respond in face of verbal abuse | INFORUM: ""Standing next to me in an aisle," she wrote, "was a man yelling and cussing at his 2-year-old ... who was crying. Not tantrum crying ... but genuine sobbing. I clenched my teeth and tried to continue shopping. I shopped in silence, while I listened to this man scream at his child for about two minutes."



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