Sunday, August 28, 2016

Bad Mom’s Series: What You Say Can Be Harming Your Child

I am blown away by this article on verbal abuse and Moms. I am particularly sensitive to abuse stories and Moms because I was very abusive to my daughter at times--you could not say I was evil or anything--just single and trying to do my best and it fell short a lot of the time. When my skills fell short it was my beautiful daughter who got the brunt of my shortcomings and yes, I abused her. That being said, she is a great person who has done very well with herself and her own family. I do admire her and wonder how I didn't really really mess her up.

I hate it when professionals try to dump on Moms and act as if every bad thing in  a person was created by a stressed out yelling Mom who loses it frequently. My Mom was abusive--she was a drunk. I was abusive and I was sober. I like how myself and my brothers turned out--not ideal but we are capable adults, successful adults and we all three have integrity, despite our failings. My daughter is a capable, successful adult despite her failings--I like us a lot and sometimes much more than other families who I think are really self-centered and more flawed than us despite their "perfect" childhoods.  Am I rambling? So let me focus. The reason I lie this article so much is that it is sensible, doesn't villainize Moms and can actually give you GREAT advice is you are a single parent struggling to keep things together. Thank you Tameka for a great read and good advice in the verbal abuse arena.
Bad Mom’s Series: What You Say Can Be Harming Your Child: "What my friend said next was a total game changer for me. “While I’ll say you’re not a bad mom, you do need to stop yelling at the children because you are doing more harm than good. You sound like you are burned out. Just because you are a single mom doesn’t mean you have to do everything yourself. You need to start asking your support system for help. Tameka, when was the last time you had some ‘me-time?’’ “What the heck is me-time?” I said as we continued the conversation."

'via Blog this'

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