What to do if you’re in an abusive relationship

 Read about this advice for a New Zealand woman who wants to leave her husband because of abuse. This advice is solid--it basically says, "respect yourself." That's rough, we know. YOu can't just tell a person to start respecting themselves--they don't know how. that's is what our free tutorial is about. Read his advice here:

 Vail Daily column: What to do if you’re in an abusive relationship | VailDaily.com: If you give your husband the benefit of the doubt and wish to stay with him, then set some iron-clad ground rules for him. Respected or not in his community, he is in grave danger of not being respected by his wife unless he lives by a different code of behavior.

And let me be clear about what a different code of behavior consists of. Adopt the attitude that it is totally unacceptable for him to lose himself physically again, or to threaten you, which has a similar effect. If someone you love becomes violent or threatening as a way of controlling you, or of forcing you into submission, that would be an extremely good reason to leave the relationship. And be wary of forgiving too easily or readily. Forgiving someone before he has apologized, acknowledged wrongdoing, accepted responsibility and has a clear and understandable plan for what to do the next time he gets triggered is tantamount to agreeing to a repeat the next time he loses his temper.