Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Verbal abuse, anxiety, stress cause problems in 80% of marriages

80% seems pretty high to me, but then this is an Irish statistic so maybe it is less for us in the US. Maybe Not. I suffered verbal and emotional abuse in each of my marriages (first 18 months 2nd less than 3 years, 3rd less than 4 years). I kept trying, but the point was that I did not "get it" that I trained them to abuse me! YES I did. How? I kept thinking that if I could make them understand how I loved them, if I could be kind enough and loving enough and sweet enough that they would "get it" about me and how much I loved them.

Yeah right. What happened is that when they were mean and ugly, I got sweeter and kinder! What did they get? that when they acted badly, I responded and was really nice to them. I have to take responsibility for what I allowed them to become.

Here's the story from Ireland--see what you think--is 80% realistic?

Verbal abuse, anxiety, stress cause problems in 80% of marriages | Irish Examiner: "Verbal abuse, anxiety, stress cause problems in 80% of marriages
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Verbal abuse, anxiety, and stress led to problems in almost 80% of marriages last year while reports of physical violence have decreased, figures show."

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1 comment:

  1. In the Irish article they say that physical violence has decreased while verbal abuse is going up! Why would that be? I think its because the laws are stricter and if you committ violence you go to jail. So what is the outlet? How do abusers vent--they get you verbally and emotionally. You can't win.

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