The First Step to Ending the Bullying Crisis | Articles: "Life is not Heaven. We all know the pain of being victimized. In fact, the place we are most likely to be intimately familiar with this pain is not in school or at work but at home, within the family. It is also human nature to blame others for our misery, to see ourselves as the good guys and them as the bad guys who need to change. So we readily sympathize with victims and want the government to eradicate bullies from society. At long last we have a school of psychology that validates our primitive beliefs that others are indeed to blame for our misery and that it’s society’s responsibility to make them change. (We conveniently fail to consider that this same psychology encourages others to call us bullies and to blame us for their misery.) Because we desperately want the research to confirm the success of this psychology, we develop amnesia for scientific standards and fail to subject the bullying studies to rigorous criticism. As long as the researchers incorporate appropriate control groups and correctly apply complex mathematical formulas to their data, the assumptions and conclusions they present are likely to be accepted by the peer-reviewers, who like the assumptions and conclusions."
Izzy is the BEST persona there is to discover what bullying is all about and what we can do about it. Abusers are bullies. They may start in their childhood on the playgrounds or they may start in their marriage when they try to get their spouse to "behave" but in any case, when we let them get away with bullying us, we become a part of the problem. Izzy points out how it is seductive to want to blame others--his principles are for kids, not meant for verbal abuse--or is it? you decide--his stuff is GREAT and yes, it applies to your relationship.
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