80% seems pretty high to me, but then this is an Irish statistic so maybe it is less for us in the US. Maybe Not. I suffered verbal and emotional abuse in each of my marriages (first 18 months 2nd less than 3 years, 3rd less than 4 years). I kept trying, but the point was that I did not "get it" that I trained them to abuse me! YES I did. How? I kept thinking that if I could make them understand how I loved them, if I could be kind enough and loving enough and sweet enough that they would "get it" about me and how much I loved them.
Yeah right. What happened is that when they were mean and ugly, I got sweeter and kinder! What did they get? that when they acted badly, I responded and was really nice to them. I have to take responsibility for what I allowed them to become.
Here's the story from Ireland--see what you think--is 80% realistic?
Verbal abuse, anxiety, stress cause problems in 80% of marriages | Irish Examiner: "Verbal abuse, anxiety, stress cause problems in 80% of marriages
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Verbal abuse, anxiety, and stress led to problems in almost 80% of marriages last year while reports of physical violence have decreased, figures show."
'via Blog this'
In the Irish article they say that physical violence has decreased while verbal abuse is going up! Why would that be? I think its because the laws are stricter and if you committ violence you go to jail. So what is the outlet? How do abusers vent--they get you verbally and emotionally. You can't win.
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