You do not have to spend time with a family member who abuses you not matter what the family tradition is. If year after year you allow someone to make you feel bad during the holidays, who is to blame them or you? It is so very difficult to loo at our-self and say, "I allow this person to treat me badly because________" Only we can stop someone from taking advantage of us--only we can break ugly family patterns that involve us. Below is a blog that gives some great tips on how to stop this destructive pattern--and it doesn't involve blaming them! Don't blame this holiday season, nothing changes when you blame others. Learn to stop the abuse--you can do it.
How to Spend Time with a Family Member Who Talks Down to You - Forgiveness & Freedom |Forgiveness & Freedom: "There’s good news. It doesn’t always have to be like that.
But you must, yes, you must take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
No more whining about your parent. If you don’t like their behavior stand up to them and make different choices.
Look at your excuses – they’re familiar – you’ve probably been using them for years.
“I have to put up with it because she/he has no one else.”
“I have to put up with the behavior and go visit again because that’s how it’s always been and mom will be so disappointed in me.”
Hard question: Is it more important for your health for your mom to be disappointed in you or for you to continue to be disappointed in yourself because you haven’t found the courage to stand up for yourself?"
'via Blog this'
It's hard to hear that we are the cause of our troubles--that we bring abuse on ourself. But if only we can stop it, then we are causing it, isn't that right?
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