What to do if you’re in an abusive relationship

 Read about this advice for a New Zealand woman who wants to leave her husband because of abuse. This advice is solid--it basically says, "respect yourself." That's rough, we know. YOu can't just tell a person to start respecting themselves--they don't know how. that's is what our free tutorial is about. Read his advice here:

 Vail Daily column: What to do if you’re in an abusive relationship | VailDaily.com: If you give your husband the benefit of the doubt and wish to stay with him, then set some iron-clad ground rules for him. Respected or not in his community, he is in grave danger of not being respected by his wife unless he lives by a different code of behavior.

And let me be clear about what a different code of behavior consists of. Adopt the attitude that it is totally unacceptable for him to lose himself physically again, or to threaten you, which has a similar effect. If someone you love becomes violent or threatening as a way of controlling you, or of forcing you into submission, that would be an extremely good reason to leave the relationship. And be wary of forgiving too easily or readily. Forgiving someone before he has apologized, acknowledged wrongdoing, accepted responsibility and has a clear and understandable plan for what to do the next time he gets triggered is tantamount to agreeing to a repeat the next time he loses his temper.

Another Winner gets her Certificate

Congratulations to Lisa D--she just earned her certificate in Verbal Abuse Defense! There are 6 more people working their way through the course presently. Please send your friends if you think they need to familiarize themselves with what verbal abuse is.

Some of the answers we get for the course are so good that we are going to begin sharing the answers with you if the person gives us permission. Here is a recent one in answer to the question, "Why do you keep believing your partner will get better?"  This is well thought out:

I believed that my partner would change if only I would love,care and understand himbetter, because I thought that I was partially responsible for his behavior.Those believes were reinforced by people that are ignorant or unaware of dynamics and tactics of abuse. By learning and understanding the issue of abuse I no longer believe that my partner will get better if I excuse or rationalize his bad behavior towards me. ~Eliana

Thank you Eliana--and congrats to Lisa
'via Blog this'

Tyler, the Creator Faces Police After Verbal Assault - News - Fuse

I consider  Talitha Stone to be a hero for those of us learning to stand up for ourselves-She is not calling herself a victim, she turned him in--even though a public figure, this rapper is being abusive to a woman in public and she took the appropriate steps. www.respectmerules.com   Good for you Talitha! read about it bleow.

Tyler, the Creator Faces Police After Verbal Assault - News - Fuse: "According to the Guardian,  24-year-old blogger Talitha Stone recently reported the rapper to the police citing verbal abuse.
The rapper targeted Stone after the blogger (who had publicly called out the rapper for misogyny via her activist group Collective Shout) exchanged words with him before last week's show. After the show started he yelled out:
"F-ckin b-tch, I hope she hear me call her a b-tch too. F-ckin whore. This f-ckin song is dedicated to you, you f-ckin c-nt." The dedicated song was “Bitch Suck D-ck.”"

'via Blog this'

Can you "fire" a husband for verbal abuse?

This news  bit (below) just came out about firing coaches for being verbally abusive--would that we could "fire" husbands and boyfriends and wives for being abusive...hey, wait--WE CAN! But acutally, if we employ the Respect-me rules, we don't need to fire them because following the rules stops abuse in its tracks--(pun intended for the coach story) Read about the verbally abusive coaches below:


Rutgers’ new athletic director under scrutiny for allegations of verbal abuse — MSNBC: "Rutgers University is involved in another athletic controversy two months after the men’s basketball coach was fired over charges of verbally abusing players."

'via Blog this'