Tuesday, December 5, 2006


It's so hard to admit that the one we loved never loved us...with some abusers that is not true, but with the narcisist, it is. My Abuser, Bob Bowman, tried to love me--but he couldn't get past his own barriers--in the end he never did see me, ony the extensionof himself that he wanted me to be--what about your abuser? Is he targeting you becasue of culture, inexperience, religion, or is he targeting you because his own disorder is never allowed him to see that you are real---time for honesty, deep honestity and you may not like what you find. I didn't!!!!

Here is a geat blog to help ou find out:

SANCTUARY FOR THE ABUSED: "The ‘person’ you cared about, looked after and more than likely loved never existed! Their life is an act. They present themselves in a different guise depending on the situation. The most difficult part is to let go of the image you fell in love with all those years back. Unfortunately the image you feel in love with had been carefully cultivated to trap you! Taking off those 'rose tinted glasses' is a long, slow and painful process; remember you've worn them for a very long time. Do not be tempted to put them back on at all cost."


  1. >>the image you feel in love with had been carefully cultivated to trap you! <<

    If there was ever a byline for YOU ARE A TARGET... this is it.

    Personally, I don't believe in the CoDependency model. I believe abusers train, mind control and entrap us so that we end up CoDependent. None of it is our fault. It is SQUARELY their doing.

    Its so hard to believe that to someone you loved so deeply - you were worth NOTHING.

    To sex addicted narcissists? You are a blow up doll with a pulse. Your Naked Nikita story said it ALL!!

  2. Boy is that the truth!!!! I did fall in love with the image--it was what I wanted to bleive. However, I really was coda before meeting my man--I offered to do everything for him if he would only love and respect me---who could pass up a deal like that? He took me up on it, and then turnined into the biggest abuser and sex addict... but if I had not been coda and had been watching out for my best interests, honet--this guy would not have married me. So in this case, I set myself up. but many women don't and really do fall prey them. Yet remember, if they respected themselves and stood up for themselves from the get go, 90% would never happen..most abuse would go away. Sigh. Have great holidays and don't forget to read about "Verbal Abuse for Sale!" :)

  3. Makes me think of a line from a Janis Ian song called "The Come On"

    "..I'll be yours for free,
    if you'll be in love with me."

    So true

    (p.s. read it, loved it... know JUST the person to give one of those Keychains too!!)

  4. Barbara Coddington


Please be respectful in how you use language.