How Psychotherapy Changes the Brain

If you take meds because you are "unhappy" or depressed in your relationship, please consider making behavioral changes in learning how to respect yourself by stopping abuse--it just may create the changes in your brain that the meds do. There are two benefits: One, changing behavior and responses does not cost money, and you have the added benefit of knowing that your real life has changed for the better--not just your brain chemistry to make you feel better in a bad situation.

Healthy Minds. Healthy Lives.: How Psychotherapy Changes the Brain: "Psychotherapy is also “biological” in that it can lead to real functional and structural changes in the brain.   In fact, sometimes psychotherapy and medication produce surprisingly similar changes in the brain.  We still have a lot to learn about the topic, but below are some examples of what researchers have been finding so far."

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Hualapai Nation | Grand Canyon West

My sister and I visited the Grand Canyon Skywalk hosted by the Hualapai (pronounced wallapie) and she found this Hualapai seal and the wisdom behind it which I want to share. To any couple experiencing any abuse--verbal and emotional from your partner, please read what the Hualapai have to say. If only we were taught this principle as children instead of the "Be nice to him and show him you love him and he will be nice back." Unfortunately that path usually teaches them that if he is mean to you, you are nice to him in return and what does he learn? That being mean makes you nicer!

Hualapai Nation | Grand Canyon West: "The Great Spirit created Man and Woman in his own image. In doing so, both were created as equals. Both depending on each other in order to survive. Great respect was shown for each other, in doing so, happiness and contentment was achieved them as it should be now."

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‘Verbal abuse amounts to domestic violence’

Other countries are waking up to verbal abuse issues and the fact that women are not your property! Of Course France leads the pack with their laws against verbal abuse, but the US has the most social support for the issue. Now India is making strides...They are mentioning the fact that other women living with extended families are also targets--true. When my husband was verbally and emotionally abusing me, he also made life uncomfortable for my Mom when she came to visit. I remember one time when angry and driving us someplace, he kept jerking on the breaks and flipping our heads back at every stop. I asked him to stop but that only made him angrier. My mom refused to visit any longer--I am so glad that bully is out of my life!

Read about India's new laws here:

The Morung Express: Nagaland Latest & Breaking News, Northeast & India News - ‘Verbal abuse amounts to domestic violence’:"He also stressed on various issues underlining that even a mere verbal abuse by a husband amounts to domestic violence. He spoke on protection of wife or female live-in partner from domestic violence at the hands of the husband or male live-in partner or his relatives." The law also extends its protection to women living in a household such as sisters, widows or mothers, he said, adding domestic violence under the above mentioned Act includes actual abuse or threat of abuse whether physical, sexual, verbal, emotional or economic.

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Woman accused of being intoxicated and trying to start fights at an AA meeting (02/27/14)

I feel sorry for her--BUT she was abusing a group of people who want to stay sober--at least the meeting did not tolerate her abuse and defended their own rights. Good for them.

Greene County Daily World: Local News: Woman accused of being intoxicated and trying to start fights at an AA meeting (02/27/14): "One woman was arrested Monday after police got a call that an intoxicated woman was starting fights in a church in Linton where several people were trying to have an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting."



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Respect-Me Rules Individual & Group Workbook, Verbal Abuse Defense: Michael J. Marshall, PhD, Shelly Marshall, BS CSAC: 9781934569191: Amazon.com: Books

For a limited time we are offering this book at a discount when you only buy one! Go to Amazon and look under "other Sellers" to see it for only $15--new.

Respect-Me Rules Individual & Group Workbook, Verbal Abuse Defense: Michael J. Marshall, PhD, Shelly Marshall, BS CSAC: 9781934569191: Amazon.com: Books:



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Student-athletes should be protected from verbal abuse

We train other people how to treat us--that is the main message of Respect-Me-Rules. And the other side of the coin is that we learn how to abuse and be abused from others. Students in sports routinely are verbally abused as this opinion piece points out: "Athletes share a common denominator in the sense they receive so much verbal abuse. Professional and student-athletes share the responsibility of dealing with the constant heckling of fans and personal attacks on their character, but when enough is enough, isn't it enough?"



I don't have a strong opinion on this--I am not one of those who think kids on horses and bikes and walking down the street need helmets--So I don't think our athletes have to stop listening to coaches--or worse--stop playing altogether--we need a certain amount of "toughening up" or we'll be 'victims" all of our lives and expect others to rescue us. But its worth explaining and keeping in mind that sports is rough--and we might want to see what we are actually teaching our athletes with the verbal abuse things. Is there another way to do this? read below:

Foul play: Student-athletes should be protected from verbal abuse - ocolly.com : Opinion: "When you wake up every morning, do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and critique yourself? Do you point out your many weaknesses as a person emotionally, physically or mentally?
If you are one of the many people who answered no, then maybe you should think twice before you saddle up to get on your high horse."

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Verbal abuse damaging to children - Angry all the time

here's a Dewar Abbey one (is she still alive???)



Someone writes in that her "good" husband is angry all the time. Well being angry all the time is abusive--what a horrible way to live. My ex was angry all the time--and he took his anger out on me. He used to say after he tore something up or destroyed some or punched a hole in the wall, "I hate it when this happens because then you focus on what I did and not on what you did to cause it."



I hated it that he thought I caused his anger! People are responsible for their own feelings and if they try to make you responsible, then they get abusive, or whiny, and certainly co-dependent. How does anger look in your relationships--is it healthy, "Ooh, I'm pissed I dropped that dang rock on my foot," or is it "Son of a B--why did you distract me and make me drop this on my foot."



The second response means you have an abusive spouse. read the story here:

Verbal abuse damaging to children - Times Union: "DEAR ABBY: My husband is a hard worker, a good provider and a good dad. However, he's angry all the time. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. He is aware of it, and always promises me that when this or that settles down, things will get better, but they never do."

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