You've got to read her post...
Kimorexia: No offense, but…: "'No offense, but...'
Don’t you hate when someone says that? It means they are going to say something offensive, doesn’t it? They know it's offensive, and say it anyway. It’s like a get out of jail free card. They’re supposed to get off free, while you’re left with the scars.
That phrase has some hostile cousins:
“You’re __________”, followed by “kidding!” (Not so funny at all!)
“You should know better than to take it personally! You know how I am!'
“You should know better than to take me seriously!”
“Geez, can’t you take a joke?”"
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com
They want to remember her--they want to teach children to recognize abuse. Good idea, but will it get off the ground?
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com: "That's intended as a way of getting at the quiet and continuing national tragedy that Linda Neely illustrates: She was an involved mom, a PTO treasurer, a well-loved worker at a local adoption agency ... and many who knew her well had no idea that she spent years in an abusive situation. Domestic abuse - physical, verbal or behavioral - slices through divisions of class and income, and is often hidden behind the walls of a house.
Colleen O'Brien, a Vera House staff worker, said a finely-tuned curriculum in the schools could help to gently educate children about patterns they might not even recognize as abuse.
I would invite anyone who has reflections about Linda Neely, or about the lessons to be gained from her life, to share them by leaving them here, e-mailing me at skirst@syracuse.com or visiting the forum."
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com: "That's intended as a way of getting at the quiet and continuing national tragedy that Linda Neely illustrates: She was an involved mom, a PTO treasurer, a well-loved worker at a local adoption agency ... and many who knew her well had no idea that she spent years in an abusive situation. Domestic abuse - physical, verbal or behavioral - slices through divisions of class and income, and is often hidden behind the walls of a house.
Colleen O'Brien, a Vera House staff worker, said a finely-tuned curriculum in the schools could help to gently educate children about patterns they might not even recognize as abuse.
I would invite anyone who has reflections about Linda Neely, or about the lessons to be gained from her life, to share them by leaving them here, e-mailing me at skirst@syracuse.com or visiting the forum."
Friday, March 21, 2008
Workshop for Partners of Sex Addicts
In April you will find a great workshop for partners of sex addicts in Arizona at the Meadows--read about at our site.
THE MEADOWS
1655 North Tegner Street
Wickenburg , Arizona 85390
800-632-3697
www.themeadows.com
Remember, many times the underlying cause of abuse is an addiction/obsession with sexual issues--read about this on our site if you suspect that might be the reason your abuser treats you so badly.
THE MEADOWS
800-632-3697
www.themeadows.com
Remember, many times the underlying cause of abuse is an addiction/obsession with sexual issues--read about this on our site if you suspect that might be the reason your abuser treats you so badly.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Unpacking and confusion | The Wordslinger, here to help you understand verbal abuse.
Here's a woman who is just now beginning to understand what emotional and verbal abuse is all about--her story may help you decide is "abuse" applies in your relationship.
Unpacking and confusion | The Wordslinger, here to help you understand verbal abuse.: "He's due back today after 5 days away for work and I'm really not looking forward to it. I've taken time out of my usual routine of preparing for him to arrive (wake in a panic, frantically clean and organise the house to his liking) to seek support and advice here as his behaviour is not normal."
Unpacking and confusion | The Wordslinger, here to help you understand verbal abuse.: "He's due back today after 5 days away for work and I'm really not looking forward to it. I've taken time out of my usual routine of preparing for him to arrive (wake in a panic, frantically clean and organise the house to his liking) to seek support and advice here as his behaviour is not normal."
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
binh’s space » Blog Archive » Silence�The Ultimate Control and Power Over Another
I love the differences between abuse and conflict--so many therapists think that both partners need to give a little and they treat abuse like a conflict--they don't realize it is a violation and needs to be stopped. Later the real conflicts can surface...
binh’s space » Blog Archive » Silence�The Ultimate Control and Power Over Another: "In describing verbal abuse it is a boundary violation, it is an intrusion upon another, or disregard of another in a relentless pursuit of Power Over, superiority and dominance by covert or overt means. In a conflict each person wants something different. However, in a conflict the parties discuss their wants, needs and seek a mutually win/win solution. While seeking the solution neither party forces, dominates or controls the other."
binh’s space » Blog Archive » Silence�The Ultimate Control and Power Over Another: "In describing verbal abuse it is a boundary violation, it is an intrusion upon another, or disregard of another in a relentless pursuit of Power Over, superiority and dominance by covert or overt means. In a conflict each person wants something different. However, in a conflict the parties discuss their wants, needs and seek a mutually win/win solution. While seeking the solution neither party forces, dominates or controls the other."
Monday, December 10, 2007
you are stupid, fat, lazy
Yeah--been there and done that!
rozina: "5 years on, Julie and Scott are still together and Julies confidence is shot to pieces. Scott still tells her he loves her, from time to time, but spends a lot more time telling her how stupid, lazy, ugly and fat she is. And, of course, how lucky she is to have someone like him, because nobody else would want her. The sad thing is, she believes him totally. Shes been so brainwashed by him for so long. We live in a society where people habitually say rude, abrasive, sometimes clever, things to each other, which are often quite funny. But rude, abrasive words have the power to chip away at a person until they break them into small pieces."
rozina: "5 years on, Julie and Scott are still together and Julies confidence is shot to pieces. Scott still tells her he loves her, from time to time, but spends a lot more time telling her how stupid, lazy, ugly and fat she is. And, of course, how lucky she is to have someone like him, because nobody else would want her. The sad thing is, she believes him totally. Shes been so brainwashed by him for so long. We live in a society where people habitually say rude, abrasive, sometimes clever, things to each other, which are often quite funny. But rude, abrasive words have the power to chip away at a person until they break them into small pieces."
Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships
What I like most about this info is that is says that violence (verbal emotional) IS A CHOICE!
Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships: "Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” He uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you. He may threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence may be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended. Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner."
Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships: "Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” He uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you. He may threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence may be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended. Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner."
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