Here's a woman who is just now beginning to understand what emotional and verbal abuse is all about--her story may help you decide is "abuse" applies in your relationship.
Unpacking and confusion | The Wordslinger, here to help you understand verbal abuse.: "He's due back today after 5 days away for work and I'm really not looking forward to it. I've taken time out of my usual routine of preparing for him to arrive (wake in a panic, frantically clean and organise the house to his liking) to seek support and advice here as his behaviour is not normal."
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Please be respectful in how you use language.