Yet we know that when we fight back that they use our stance against us--they engage us in the abuse then accuse US of abusing them! No--it is not "standing up for ourselves when we fight back. It is encouraging and egging on the abuse. Walking away is saying, "I do not allow people to treat me this way. If you treat me this way, I will leave. I chose to be around people who do nto scream and yell at me." If every time they scream and yell you disappear--they will stop. If you scream back or try to reason, you are engaged and it is the same as rewarding them. You are giving them something to twist and throw back in your face.
when my husband yelled, I held up my hand and said STOP. It confused him and after yelling at me one last time, "I can say any god-damned thing I want" he walked away from me. Once he didn't and continued to yell, so I left--he finally learned I would not stand for him yelling at me. So is it better to leave and let them know you will not stand for it, or is it better to "stand up for yourself" engage him or her and continue the abuse again and again and again?
Here's a brief article on it at About.com
Screaming And Yelling – Is Screaming and Yelling Verbal Abuse: ""My husband yells constantly. The least little thing sets him off. The other day I didn’t load the dishwasher the way he thought it should be. For 30 minutes, I had to listen to him yelling and cursing about how he is the only one here who knows how to do things the right way."
'via Blog this'