Well, Cristi like myself discovered some of the secrets of abuse and she spreads the message. read her great article here.
The 'Benefits' of Verbal Abuse | Christi Paul: "How did verbal abuse benefit me? It helped me realize the importance of words (and to choose mine carefully). It helped me become more independent and learn to take care of myself. It helped redefine what security means to me (that just because you're married that doesn't guarantee you'll be happy). And it helped me learn boundaries -- something I clearly hadn't set in my life. To recognize what I was and wasn't willing to allow into my life. It brought me closer to God and helped me recognize what I can and can't control. And it helped expand my capacity to forgive, not just other people, but myself. "
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