Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What does Verbal Abuse look like?

Here is a good article by Kristina Welker that asks what verbal abuse looks like--when covert or overt. So often people don't know they are being verbally abused and it takes something really pointed to figure it out. I remember my moment of clarity. My mother had come to visit and we we getting ready for the evening. My husband was watching TV in the other room. Mom suggested I take a bath (a pleasure I love) and I drew in my breath sharply as said, "I can't take a bath now because Steve is here." She asked me what that was all about and I explained that he didn't let me take a bath when he was home because it took time away from him. The look on my Mom's face said it all. She was horrified that professional, smart woman such as myself was in a position where her partner wouldn't "let" her bathe when she wanted to....needless to say it jarred me and I began to examine what I was accepting from this guy.

Kritina says that abuse is covert or overt--that they are unable to accept a partner as equal and find ways to put us down. Her article is worth reading and then ask yourself in what ways you accept abuse covertly and then overtly...
The verbally abusive relationship - Ahwatukee Foothills News: Community Focus: "Often I work with clients who are unaware that they are being verbally abusive. Many times it is overt … laughing while the spouse is talking. But, sometimes it is covert … giving the silent treatment."

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