there are times when you just have to be understanding with an abuser and know it is not them or you or anything but life and this is one of those cases--read about this sweet woman who takes alzheimer's abuse personally....my heart goes out to her becasue I know she doesn't understand
Alzheimer's - verbal abuse: "It is understandable that the feelings of your father-in-law's wife are hurt. However, it might be helpful if she tries to interpret his behavior differently. Although it must not be easy to receive verbal abuse from her own spouse, the fact that she is feeling hurt and helpless may suggest that she is taking his actions personally rather than seeing them as a symptom of his dementia and/or any other illnesses, and perhaps a general feeling of vulnerability and worry about his health, and not as a motivated attack to hurt or insult her. He may not be able to control his outbursts at this point, but she could attempt to mentally reframe the situation for herself and utilize basic redirection techniques to manage him. If she finds that he is complaining unreasonably and being verbally abusive, she can simply reply to him by validating his concerns and quickly changing the subject onto something more positive."
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Please be respectful in how you use language.