Trigger Points Anthology | Breaking the silence, Breaking the cycle of abuse

Looks like an amazing new book. This site is also seeking contributions of the stories of parental abuse--go see if you have something to contribute.

Trigger Points Anthology | Breaking the silence, Breaking the cycle of abuse: "Reading all these stories of amazing moms and dads working so hard to break the cycle of abuse is so incredibly powerful. Each conversation I have right now about this book ends the same way. The person turns to me and says:

“You know this book is going to change people’s lives right?”"



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Verbal Abuse and Relationships--they can't stand to see you happy

Another interesting take on verbal abuse--TASNIM FAKIH, guest columnest, tells us that abusers can't stand to see others happy or succeeding. Maybe--I hadn't thought about that aspect much as I always look at the controlling factor. But maybe  they can't stand to see you happy. Her reason go into the peron's back ground and well, I hate the excuses "I was raised worng that's why I make bad chocies," kind of thing. But that is the prevailing opinion with the "experts" so who am I to argue? In all seriousness, this point of view is worth considering except one: she asks the target to leave the abusive reatlationship. With physical abuse, YES--you must. But with verbal abuse, it doesn't work that well.


Why? Becasue if you don't learn about your part in the abuse, you are doomed to get into another abusive relationship. Honest. Once you learn about the Miracle principle thorugh the book, Respect Me Rules. 

you can extract yourself emotionally and demand the respect you deserve. However--we need to consider all views. Read the article below.

The Michigan Journal | Verbal Abuse and Relationships: "Verbal abusers hate seeing others happy, especially their significant other. It kills them inside to see them succeeding, or doing anything that makes them happy. They may crush their hopes and dreams by repeating negative things to have their victim questioning every single thing they are doing. They want to make sure that they feel above and better than their victim and create all kinds of different obstacles to keep them from becoming better. When asked why they say and do what they do, the answer may be because they care and want the best for them."

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Congradulations-2 more Verbal Abuse Defense Certificates given

We had a couple more graduates this week on the tutorial. Both of the people who participated had thoughtful answers. I want to share a couple with with you.

First from Shelly K. who  shared a definition of the Miracle Principle:

The miracle principle is simple. It basically means that as a victim or target, you need to have enough respect for yourself to not allow the abuse.

The miracle principle sound simple but peole often let it slip though their mind--but basically it takes two to dance and one stops dancing, the dance ends.

Then we had a graduate who was not taking the tutorisl becasue of her partner, but her parents. Maja M. read the story about Kathy and told us why she thought Kathy let the realtionship go so far that it ended in death.

I think she cared about him and was invested in the relationship. She wanted to see the best in him and brushed off his abusive behavior little by little and over time got used to it until it went too far. She got accustomed to the treatment and maybe her self-esteem degraded and she didn't have the courage to leave, but she adapted to the maltreatment that she didn't see how bad it was.

It is not easys to look at one's self and both these women were brave in finishing the lessons...

A lot of folks begin the lessons but drop out before the final lesson. It is very difficult to change our mind about abuse, but changing our mind is the first step in changing abuse.

If you know anyone that may benefit--remember it is free. It is an introduction to the work of Dr. Marshall and myslef.

Remember you do not have to be a target any longer.

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'Girls' star Lena Dunham quits Twitter due to 'verbal abuse' |

Interesting story and I'm conflicted. Is it Lena stopping the abuse by stopping twitter? Or is it Lena running away fromt eh abuse--Obviously you can't "stop" twitter abuse becasueyou ahve no control over user...it may be a case of self respect, or it may be a case of running away and not learning to deal with it..its a tough call. The comments were very interesting here--they seem to be abusive too!



FYI--I don't know what 'girls' is or who Lena is, just caught my eye about the
Twitter Abuse! Interesting read.

Girls' star Lena Dunham quits Twitter due to 'verbal abuse' | Las Vegas Review-Journal: "Dunham explained that she could no longer handle seeing the mean-spirited comments directed at her statements and photos, particularly referencing a recent Instagram of her in a sports bra and her boyfriend, Jack Antonoff's, boxers.

"It wasn't a graphic picture," she said. "I was wearing men's boxers, and it turned into the most rabid, disgusting debate about women's bodies."

Dunham also told Swisher that she'd stopped reading blogs Gawker and Jezebel for the same reason, saying "it's literally, if I read it, it's like going back to a husband who beat me in the face — it just doesn't make any sense.""

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Verbal Abuse Prevention Week in the spotlight

This verbal abuse prevention week is in Canada--but I htink we need one here. Who can find a free week and mark us for this?

Verbal Abuse Prevention Week in the spotlight thanks to Islander - Prince Edward Island - CBC News: " mark Verbal Abuse Prevention Week in the hopes of tackling bullying.

Tami Martell, who has started Verbal Abuse Prevention Canada as a not-for-profit group based on P.E.I., wants provincial officials to take action."



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This Guy Just Changed The Way We See Beauty And The Beast.

This is great. Beauty and the Beast--classic abuser story. Here one of teh commentors (page 3 I think) gives us a new look at a classic sotry--I think I agree with him..except that the "beast" was only 11 when it began. never the less, it shows the dance in the abusive cycle. This was written by one of the commenters, PepsiVCoke

This Guy Just Changed The Way We See Beauty And The Beast. Mind Blown.: "So there's one little problem with this theory. Adam, also known as the beast, is turned into a beast in the first place due to his selfishness. As the beast, he only further proves that he has a bad temper, and is actually somewhat abusive towards Belle. First, he takes her prisoner instead of her father. Then he tries to force her to come out of her room to eat with him after separating her from the only family she's ever known. He absolutely loses it when she breaks his rules, and causes her to run away. One could actually metaphorically say he throws her to the wolves, which is symbolized in the actual wolves in the woods. The personality change is a classic abuser tool. The abused decides to leave, and suddenly the abuser becomes different. They try to convince the abused that they love them, and that they can change. The abused gets pulled back in, only to find his or herself in the same situation once again. So before talking about how poor, poor Prince Adam is ostracized, try looking at the facts. His behavior is totally indicative of an abuser, and Belle, in this case, is the abused. Try again."



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Schoolgirl football referee asks parents to stop verbal abuse

A teenage girl who "gets" it!!! Yea. WE need more of these--please read her story below.

Schoolgirl football referee asks parents to stop verbal abuse | UK news | The Guardian: "She was called a “fucking disgrace” and told “you don’t know what you’re fucking doing” when she did not allow a goal because a shot rebounded off the bar but did not, as far as she could tell, cross the line."

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