there are times when you just have to be understanding with an abuser and know it is not them or you or anything but life and this is one of those cases--read about this sweet woman who takes alzheimer's abuse personally....my heart goes out to her becasue I know she doesn't understand
Alzheimer's - verbal abuse: "It is understandable that the feelings of your father-in-law's wife are hurt. However, it might be helpful if she tries to interpret his behavior differently. Although it must not be easy to receive verbal abuse from her own spouse, the fact that she is feeling hurt and helpless may suggest that she is taking his actions personally rather than seeing them as a symptom of his dementia and/or any other illnesses, and perhaps a general feeling of vulnerability and worry about his health, and not as a motivated attack to hurt or insult her. He may not be able to control his outbursts at this point, but she could attempt to mentally reframe the situation for herself and utilize basic redirection techniques to manage him. If she finds that he is complaining unreasonably and being verbally abusive, she can simply reply to him by validating his concerns and quickly changing the subject onto something more positive."
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Every one must fight abuse...
http://submissiontyranny.blogspot.com/2008/08/why-everyone-must-combat-abuse-domestic.html
the best advice yet!!!!!
Domestic violence. Batterered wives. Domestic terrorism. Bah humbug. Who cares? None of my friends are abused. It has nothing to do with me. People may well say that; but how do you know? Are you sure your friend isn’t black and blue on the inside from verbal and emotional abuse and is keeping it private as is typical of abused women? And what about the receptionist at your doctor’s office? Could it be the name calling and put downs she’s getting at home made it so hard to concentrate that she put your papers in someone else’s file and now no one can find them? Could your coworker, whom you think has PMS, actually be in terror of unjustly losing custody of her children because of threats from her almost ex-husband and because the court tends to believe the statements of an angry aggressive man are true, while his victim must furnish proof for her statements? And horror of horrors, what if one of your daughters—or your friend’s daughters ends up married to an abuser? As with the Holocaust, if too many people shrug and turn away, the problem will soon be on everyone’s doorstep and come into their homes. We must not only intervene to stop domestic violence, we must take steps to prevent it from happening in the first place.
But how can we prevent abuse?
the best advice yet!!!!!
Domestic violence. Batterered wives. Domestic terrorism. Bah humbug. Who cares? None of my friends are abused. It has nothing to do with me. People may well say that; but how do you know? Are you sure your friend isn’t black and blue on the inside from verbal and emotional abuse and is keeping it private as is typical of abused women? And what about the receptionist at your doctor’s office? Could it be the name calling and put downs she’s getting at home made it so hard to concentrate that she put your papers in someone else’s file and now no one can find them? Could your coworker, whom you think has PMS, actually be in terror of unjustly losing custody of her children because of threats from her almost ex-husband and because the court tends to believe the statements of an angry aggressive man are true, while his victim must furnish proof for her statements? And horror of horrors, what if one of your daughters—or your friend’s daughters ends up married to an abuser? As with the Holocaust, if too many people shrug and turn away, the problem will soon be on everyone’s doorstep and come into their homes. We must not only intervene to stop domestic violence, we must take steps to prevent it from happening in the first place.
But how can we prevent abuse?
when you abuse yourself....
Anyhoo, the commercial shows a woman cleaning while a man's voice is heard berating her..."You call that clean? Blah blah blah," and then a man fixing a car while a woman's voice crushes him..."You think you can fix that? You can't do ANYTHING right! Blah blah blah blah blah!" And then there's the soothing professional voice urging people to get help, that verbal abuse is just as abusive and intolerable as physical abuse, that nobody should tolerate being treated like that, blah blah blah. Makes me feel all warm and gooey that we put out a good, sincere, hopefully helpful PSA addressing one of my personal crusades...
My question is this:
What does one do when the voice in their head constantly beating them up is their own?
visit this blog
My question is this:
What does one do when the voice in their head constantly beating them up is their own?
visit this blog
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Bullying-better spelled: cruelty
I like Dr. Jo ann--why call it bullying when it is really cruelty????
StratfordStar.com • News • 'Connectedness' can overcome cruelty: "While others are crusading against bullying, Dr. Jo Ann Freiberg of the Connecticut Department of Education abhors the word.
Calling it a “four-letter word” that should be avoided, she told Stratford educators Monday to focus on a different term that better characterizes the behavior of some students toward peers — cruelty."
StratfordStar.com • News • 'Connectedness' can overcome cruelty: "While others are crusading against bullying, Dr. Jo Ann Freiberg of the Connecticut Department of Education abhors the word.
Calling it a “four-letter word” that should be avoided, she told Stratford educators Monday to focus on a different term that better characterizes the behavior of some students toward peers — cruelty."
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Kimorexia: No offense, but…
You've got to read her post...
Kimorexia: No offense, but…: "'No offense, but...'
Don’t you hate when someone says that? It means they are going to say something offensive, doesn’t it? They know it's offensive, and say it anyway. It’s like a get out of jail free card. They’re supposed to get off free, while you’re left with the scars.
That phrase has some hostile cousins:
“You’re __________”, followed by “kidding!” (Not so funny at all!)
“You should know better than to take it personally! You know how I am!'
“You should know better than to take me seriously!”
“Geez, can’t you take a joke?”"
Kimorexia: No offense, but…: "'No offense, but...'
Don’t you hate when someone says that? It means they are going to say something offensive, doesn’t it? They know it's offensive, and say it anyway. It’s like a get out of jail free card. They’re supposed to get off free, while you’re left with the scars.
That phrase has some hostile cousins:
“You’re __________”, followed by “kidding!” (Not so funny at all!)
“You should know better than to take it personally! You know how I am!'
“You should know better than to take me seriously!”
“Geez, can’t you take a joke?”"
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com
They want to remember her--they want to teach children to recognize abuse. Good idea, but will it get off the ground?
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com: "That's intended as a way of getting at the quiet and continuing national tragedy that Linda Neely illustrates: She was an involved mom, a PTO treasurer, a well-loved worker at a local adoption agency ... and many who knew her well had no idea that she spent years in an abusive situation. Domestic abuse - physical, verbal or behavioral - slices through divisions of class and income, and is often hidden behind the walls of a house.
Colleen O'Brien, a Vera House staff worker, said a finely-tuned curriculum in the schools could help to gently educate children about patterns they might not even recognize as abuse.
I would invite anyone who has reflections about Linda Neely, or about the lessons to be gained from her life, to share them by leaving them here, e-mailing me at skirst@syracuse.com or visiting the forum."
Linda Neely: Lessons in remembrance - Sean Kirst - syracuse.com: "That's intended as a way of getting at the quiet and continuing national tragedy that Linda Neely illustrates: She was an involved mom, a PTO treasurer, a well-loved worker at a local adoption agency ... and many who knew her well had no idea that she spent years in an abusive situation. Domestic abuse - physical, verbal or behavioral - slices through divisions of class and income, and is often hidden behind the walls of a house.
Colleen O'Brien, a Vera House staff worker, said a finely-tuned curriculum in the schools could help to gently educate children about patterns they might not even recognize as abuse.
I would invite anyone who has reflections about Linda Neely, or about the lessons to be gained from her life, to share them by leaving them here, e-mailing me at skirst@syracuse.com or visiting the forum."
Friday, March 21, 2008
Workshop for Partners of Sex Addicts
In April you will find a great workshop for partners of sex addicts in Arizona at the Meadows--read about at our site.
THE MEADOWS
1655 North Tegner Street
Wickenburg , Arizona 85390
800-632-3697
www.themeadows.com
Remember, many times the underlying cause of abuse is an addiction/obsession with sexual issues--read about this on our site if you suspect that might be the reason your abuser treats you so badly.
THE MEADOWS
800-632-3697
www.themeadows.com
Remember, many times the underlying cause of abuse is an addiction/obsession with sexual issues--read about this on our site if you suspect that might be the reason your abuser treats you so badly.
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